Blogging hiatus.

Alright.

Many of you already know that I quit my job 2 weeks ago. What you may not know is that finding a new job is a full-time job. With no pay. I'm not officially unemployed yet (actually, that would free up a lot of time for me), but the time is drawing very near. I haven't yet woken up in the middle of the night hyperventilating and worrying how I will afford my next student loan payment or when I will ever see a full tank of gas again... but just wait.

I have not found any time to write here, unfortunately. I will see what I can do in the future, but it doesn't look promising.

And even more unfortunately, I've neglected What the BLOG!? Like, badly. And I know it's all my fault. I hope our members can forgive me.

But my saviors Tiffany and Mikala are going to keep WTB going in my (brief???) absence. If you're wondering what's going on with What the Blog!? please go check out Tiffany's post, in which she tells you WTF!? is happening at WTB!?

P.S. Does anyone want to hire me? Uhm, I am not willing to relocate at this time. Mkay, t'anks.

So it goes.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr. died today at the age of 84.

"an indescribable writer whose books are like nothing else on earth" -- quote from the New York Times

Works you may SHOULD know by Mr. Vonnegut:
(taken from wikipedia)

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Novels	1950s: Player Piano (1952) • The Sirens of Titan (1959) 1960s: Mother Night (1961) • Cat's Cradle (1963) • God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, or Pearls Before Swine (1965) • Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children's Crusade (1969) 1970s: Breakfast of Champions, or Goodbye, Blue Monday (1973) • Slapstick or Lonesome No More (1976) • Jailbird (1979) 1980s: Deadeye Dick (1982) • Galápagos (1985) • Bluebeard (1987) 1990s: Hocus Pocus (1990) • Timequake (1997)
Short story collections	Canary in a Cathouse (1961) • Welcome to the Monkey House (1968) • Bagombo Snuff Box (1999)
Collected essays	Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons (1974) • Palm Sunday, An Autobiographical Collage (1981) • Fates Worse than Death, An Autobiographical Collage (1990) • God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian (2001) • A Man Without a Country (2005)
Plays	Happy Birthday, Wanda June (1970) • Between Time and Timbuktu, or Prometheus Five: A Space Fantasy (1972) • Make Up Your Mind (1993) • Miss Temptation (1993) • L'Histoire du Soldat (1993)
Adaptations
Stage	Welcome to the Monkey House (1970, 1974) • Sirens of Titan (1974) • Cat's Cradle (1976) • God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater (1979) • Breakfast of Champions (1984) • Requiem (Stone, Time, and Elements: A Humanist Requiem) (1988) • Slaughterhouse-Five (1996)
Film	Happy Birthday, Wanda June (1971) • Slaughterhouse-Five (1972) • Next Door (1975) • Slapstick of Another Kind (1982) • Mother Night (1996) • Breakfast of Champions (1999)
Television	Displaced Person (1958, 1985) • EPICAC (1974, 1992) • Who Am I This Time? (1982) • All the King's Horses (1991) • Next Door (1991) • The Euphio Question (1991) • Fortitude (1992) • The Foster Portfolio (1992) • More Stately Mansions (1992) • Harrison Bergeron (1995)

So it goes, Mr. Vonnegut. So it goes.

This guy's relationship was doomed.

Okay, I had to share this with you guys... it's too funny: (Original link here)

How dating my ex was like playing DOOM II on nightmare mode
Posted by Boyd

I want to begin by saying I had options: I could have chosen an easier difficulty level, even ultra-violence would have worked. There are plenty of nice, moderately sane girls out there who I could have dated. But no, I willingly chose nightmare mode. I went for the unstable, completely batshit-crazy girl who taught me what it truly means to experience Hell on Earth.

The Honeymoon Phase
It starts out fun. I'm running around killing shotgun guys and everything is cool. I've got a chainsaw and a boomstick and everything is going my way. She knows I've got my own thing going on and respects my independence. I'm having so much fun, I wish I could play this forever!

DOOM II - You had me at ROAARRR ROWWWLLL ROHRRROHRR

Let the smothering begin
Pretty soon things start getting tricky, there seems to be a never-ending supply of Imps and they just won't stop. Baby, I love you but I need some space, okay? I've got other monsters to kill and these keycards aren't getting any easier to find.


Trick questions
So there's invisible monsters now? How the hell am I suppose to shoot an invisible monster? When you asked me if I thought your best friend was attractive how was I suppose to know “Hell yeah she's hot!” was the WRONG answer? I'm a simple creature, be straight with me.

Goodbye, personal space
My bathroom never looked the same after you moved in. You wallpapered the house with entrails, spattered blood, and demonic symbols. You took down my favorite Bjork poster and replaced it with a “kittens around the world” calendar. You're with me morning, noon, and night.

Picking the daily fight
Now there's an arch-vile running around resurrecting the dead. We've been over this issue a hundred times, are you just looking for an excuse to fight? Can't we go just one day without mass-murder?

What used to be cute is now highly annoying
If I have to shoot one more flaming skull I swear to God I'm going to off myself with this plasma gun and end this once and for all.

I want to cheat on you
I'm trapped in this relationship and IDDQD and IDKFA are starting to sound very appealing. I'm a man of ethics, however, and I'm going to endure this masochistic adventure as honestly as I can.

(Plus, the sex is still great)

Your friends are a bunch of Cacodemons
Bloated, lethargic, one-eyed beasts: your friends are a bunch of self-centered, gossiping monsters who are only concerned with a) themselves and b) bitching about whoever isn't within earshot.

The straw that broke the Cyberdemon's back
I've endured the hordes of hell for you. I've watched our relationship evolve from a casual encounter into a level of commitment that rivals most marriages. Your cat (which I'm allergic to, by the way) has managed to defecate, urinate, and claw everything I own that is less than four feet tall. I have no armor, health, and I'm reduced to using my little spike-covered fist to fight with. I've had it - It's over.

Moving on
Doom II: I've started seeing someone else. She supports true 3D and promises things you could never give me. It's not that I don't love you, I just think we're better off as friends. Specifically, I think we're better off as friends who live at least three states apart.

LOL.

Best. Analogy/Parody. Ever.

Okay, so I really hope there are a couple fans of Doom among my readers that will fully appreciate this. Even if you're not a fan though, it's still hilarious.

Ass hat in the news

If you're not a member of what the blog!? yet, you should be. Because then you can participate in the ass hat awards, which features a sweet little contest every 2 weeks. There are lots of buttons and awards and junk that you can earn if you post cool crap about ass hats. Oh yeah, and did I mention that what the blog!? and the ass hat awards are run entirely by the lovely and talent Tiffany, Michelle, and yours truly?

Yeah, we're awesome. You don't have to say it, just sign your ass up.

Anyway, even though I cant qualify to win an ass hat award, I still love to participate because, guess why? It's tons of fun, people. Try and keep up, okay? If you tried it, you would know this.

This past 2-weeks the theme has been Ass Hats in the News, so here's my post:

This is a bit of a disturbing ass hat, but an ass hat nonetheless. Here's the story if you want to read it, though all you really need to know are the parts I highlighted for you in red:

ERIE, Pennsylvania (AP) -- A woman pleaded guilty Tuesday to swinging her 4-week-old son like a bat to hit her boyfriend during a fight, fracturing the infant's skull in the process.

Chytoria Graham, 27, pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and endangering the welfare of a child under a plea agreement with prosecutors.

By pleading guilty, Graham acknowledged that on October 8 she grabbed her son Jarron by his feet and swung him, hitting her boyfriend and seriously injuring the child.

At Graham's preliminary hearing in December, paramedic Betty Schau, who treated the baby, recalled that Graham was crying and disheveled when medical crews arrived. She testified that Graham told her, "I swung him. I swung him like a bat."

The judge ordered a psychological examination for Graham before her sentencing, set for May 8. The charges carry a minimum of five years in prison because the child was under age 12. Two lesser charges were dropped.

Graham's previous attorney had said Graham did not use her child as a weapon, that the boy was hurt during a fight between the two adults and that Graham lied to authorities about how the injury occurred to protect her boyfriend.

Her current attorney, public defender Julia Dudics, however, said Tuesday that the choice to plead guilty was Graham's. Dudics declined further comment except to say that Graham had told her she was depressed.

Jarron, who made a full recovery, and Graham's four other children are currently in the custody of her parents.

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Here's the link too, if you wanna go read it at cnn.com. But really, if you can just read it here, why go anywhere else?

So, uhm. Do I really need to say anything else about this? I mean, holy hell. WTF is wrong with people?

I see no mention of this mother being on drugs, but I really think that would make more sense... I mean, if you're totally drugged out of your skull I could maybe possibly see this happening.

Like, I could understand a bit if you're a complete crackhead and you hallucinate that your baby is really a baseball bat and start swinging away at the purple spidermonkeys flying towards your head. I could understand that excuse.

But, apparently this lady was sober!? Really? WTF? And her primary excuse is that she was depressed. Why is it that we always hear about mothers getting depressed and then either drowning their children, driving them off bridges, or using them as sports equipment?

Man, this must be an epidemic! I know whenever I'm feeling depressed, I also feel the urge to end innocent lives. Thank goodness I'm not alone anymore in Crazy Town!

/sarcasm.

Maybe birth control should be issued free-of-charge to anyone with an IQ below that of current U.S. President's. (I realize that at the moment that is not a lot of people. But hopefully this will encourage us to vote in smarter Presidents next time.) Two birds with one stone, people. That's how you do it.

Anyway, I'm glad the kid is okay. (And frankly I wouldn't be posting this story if he wasn't okay, because I'm NOT trying to make everyone cry.) I do want to say is that this lady is a freakin ass hat and she doesn't deserve to have children if she can't even operate them properly.

Obviously, this kid was not made for sports. I mean, seriously. Lady, if you really wanna go psycho on your man you have to buy yourself a real baseball bat.

It would do a lot more damage to him than your kid's squishy little head.

Resident Evil: Extinction

Whoa, dude. There will be a 3rd Resident Evil movie coming out in the Fall of 2007, and yes, the wonderfully talented and gorgeous Milla Jovovich will be returning for it!

This might be old news already, but I just heard about it so it's new to me.

If you wanna see the pretty freakin sweet trailor, go to the official Resident Evil: Extinction site from Sony Pictures. The beginning of the trailer is the best part... check it out when it pans back from the big-screen casino/vacation advertisement... that has got to be all CG. Dude, the Statue of Liberty is right there near the Eiffel Tower. See if you can spot all the Wonders of the World and various landmarks that are lined up as it pans further back... WTF happened!?

Anyway, very neat idea. Even if it's not likely, it's a cool effect. And would get people talking. Either "Wow, that's so sweet!" or "Uhm wow, that's not even possible."

The rest of the trailer makes it look like Resident Evil meets Indiana Jones or Aladdin or something. Check out those Aladdin swords. Did she raid the last museum standing or something!?

Well, it's still awesome despite the mild lameness of the only 2 preview photos I could find out there, but where the hell are my favorite zombie inside-out dogs that scare the ever-loving crap out of me? Before Resident Evil 1, I thought I was scared enough of the game! Talk about nitemares people. I'll admit I'm a wuss, but those inside-out dogs are enough to freak anyone out. Just admit it, you cry a little when you think of them.

I'm not too worried since those dogs are a trademark of the games and the films thus far, so there's no way in hell they're gonna leave them out. Even if it's just a cameo. Hah.

IMDB has a page up for Resident Evil: Extinction, but of course there isn't a lot of info on it yet... For example, here's what the user-submitted Plot Summary says right now:

Alice (MILLA JOVOVICH) now is in hiding in the Nevada desert with old friends Carlos Olivera (ODED FEHR) and L.J. (MIKE EPPS) and new survivors K-Mart (SPENCER LOCKE) Claire Redfield (ALI LARTER) and nurse Betty (ASHANTI). Now they must gather their strength to fight the Umbrella Corporation, and the deadly virus they created.
-- Written by KrispyGlowwFlakes

Yes. Written by KRISPYGLOWWFLAKES. Riiight. Okay. Now, I'm not doubting that she could be a very reliable source, but... COME ON. How can you not be a wee bit skeptical on the basis of her username alone? I mean, good lord. Please pick a screenname that makes you appear older than 14 if you want me to listen to you at all. Unless you're 14. Then stay off the effing internet because OMMIGOD DON'T YOU WATCH DATELINE!?

Ahem. Anyway, here's a list of things that Milla Jovovich has been in (that I have seen or at least heard of... there are more on her IMDB profile page, but uhmm these are the ones that people will actually recognize):

• Resident Evil: Extinction (2007) (post-production) .... Alice
• .45 (2006) .... Kate
• Ultraviolet (2006) .... Violet
• Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) .... Alice
• The House on Turk Street (2002) .... Erin
• Resident Evil (2002) .... Alice
• Zoolander (2001) .... Katinka
• The Claim (2000) .... Lucia
• The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (1999) .... Joan of Arc
• The Fifth Element (1998) (VG) (voice) .... Leeloo
• The Fifth Element (1997) .... Leeloo
• Dazed and Confused (1993) .... Michelle Burroughs
• Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991) .... Lilli

Dazed and Confused was the first time I saw her, but I didn't recognize her as the same actress when I saw The Fifth Element. It wasn't until I saw Dazed & Confused again (for the millionth time) that I put 2 and 2 together.

Jewelry for geek chicks.

Geek girls like jewelry too. I've noticed that in recent years the amount of geekery geared towards women has gone up up up! Which means, yes ladies, geek jewelry galore!

So here are a few of my favorite geeky gems:

Zelle Style
My fav: Audioplug necklace. A jack and plug are used to clasp the necklace! Freakin' sweet.

Also Awesome: Most everything on the site, and especially check out the Zelle 133T Collection, which features some gorgeous limited edition pieces.



ThinkGeek
My fav: The fan guard pendant! Super stylish and geeky.
Also awesome: The Fuse Ladder necklace, not-really-a-charity-thing Geek Awareness bracelets, ultra-cool RAM necklace and matching RAM earrings. And the ever-popular d20 spiral necklace which features a removeable 20-sided die in a lovely spiral cradle.





Jacqueline Sanchez
My fav: The Forever Young collection, which features all lego jewelry! My favorite of the bunch are the lego bracelets in pink-and-lime (as shown) or black.

Also awesome: Lego earrings, cufflinks, pendants, and more.



Fractal Spin
My fav: The Eprom necklace, a reprogrammable memory chip with "a window cut out revealing its prismatic, sparkley innards". Oooh, I love me some sparkley innards!!

Also awesome: Colorful Cat5 choker or Cat5 bracelet. Another cool fan guard necklace.



Stewart Jewelry Designs
My fav: The Harlequin Resistor Necklace & Earrings set. I wouldn't necessarily wear this set, because I don't know anything about electronics and I'm just not in that genre of geek-girl, but this set is still very pretty. And I'm sure there is a geek girl out there (interested in electronics!) that would truly appreciate these.Also awesome: Pretty much every single piece in this Geek Girl collection. This shop really mixes style with geekery. By focusing on colors and even adding beads or gems where necessary, they've added more of a feminine touch to each piece.

Marche Noir
My fav: FUN-ctional computer-key rings. It seems that these rings are "spring-loaded" so that you are actually able to press the "keys" up and down like you would on any standard keyboard. That is so weird and funky; I love it!


Made with Molecules "Gifts inspired by Science"
My fav: The Creativity Necklace, which features "the molecules acetylcholine, dopamine, and seratonin, the neurotransmitters that boost creativity." Clever!!

Also awesome: Jewelry that features chemicals, stimulants, and other such molecular designs representing caffeine, chocolate, estrogen, and lots more!




Sweet Tooth Designs
My fav: The Smiley Collection's "less than three" necklace. Aww! How romantic! The perfect way to show your email/chat online-love that you less-than-three them very much!

Also awesome: Smiley cufflinks, keyrings, silver or gold charms, bangle bracelets, and silver or gold necklaces, in various smiley-faces.

Including: devil smiley >:-) ... angel smiley O:-) ... happy smiley :-) ... kissy smiley :-* ... laughing smiley :-D ... pbfft smiley :-P ... sunglasses smiley 8-) ... and winking smiley ;-) ... and even more smileys, depending on what item you choose.

Uncommon Goods
My fav: Geek Chic Computer Jewelry, sold seperately or as a set.

Also awesome: freakin cute computer key cufflinks for your geek-guy.

Feeling a little Lost.

Nadine: SO DID YOU SEE LOST LAST NIGHT?

10:12 AM Jen: yeah

Jen: it was okay.

10:14 AM Nadine: I THOUGHT IT WAS STUPID

6 minutes

10:23 AM Jen: why did you think Lost was stupid? Jen: WHY NADINE WHY

Nadine: BECAUSE IT WAS Nadine: NOTHING HAPPENS ANYMORE

Jen: true. Jen: they spent a whole episode finding a boat.

Jen: i've seen more excitement on an episode of 24. Nadine: JACK TOTALLY BLEW IT WHEN HE RATTED OUT WHATS HER NAME

Jen: Jack just blew period.

10:24 AM

Nadine: I JUST WISH THEY WOULD GET ON WITH THE STORY CAUSE LAST SEASON WAS OLD AND THIS IS GETTING OLDER

Jen: yes. agreed. they're gonna jump the shark.

Nadine: AND WE HAD TO WAIT FOR 2 F-CKIN MONTHS TO SEE THIS STUPID EPISODE

Jen: yeah, totally worth it. i can feel my bones melting with boredom

Nadine: I KNOW. AND YOU KNOW THEY SAID THEY HAD A PLAN AND THEY WERE GOING TO END THE SHOW WITH ANSWERS AND NOT JUST LEAVE IT HANGING, BUT REALLY THEY SHOULD TOTALLY END IT NOW

Nadine: OR IN THE NEXT TWO SEASONS. IF THEY CAN.

Jen: they should. instead of dragging a dead horse through the mud.

Nadine: I THINK LOST WOULD MAKE A BETTER MOVIE THAN SHOW

Jen: well i just wish they'd explain things

Nadine: ME TOO

10:27 AM Jen: you know why they don't explain things? Jen: cuz it doesn't make any effing sense and it never will.

Jen: they know there are not reasonable answers. so they give us NO ANSWERS.

Nadine: AND WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO WALT AND HIS DAD

Jen: they sailed off somewhere

Nadine: BUT WHERE?

Jen: they might return, they might not.

Nadine: THEY CAN'T JUST BE GONE

10:28 AM

Nadine: THATS LAME

Jen: we will NEVER know

Nadine: I KNOW! LAME

Jen: because they NEVER tell you anything

Nadine: I KNOW. I HATE THAT

Jen: next week Hurley is going to have sex with Kate and she will get pregnant and then the baby and pregnancy will disappear because the black smoke cloud will drift by her and take it away.

10:29 AM Nadine: LOL

Jen: they will never explain why she had sex with Hurley, or how in the hell the black smoke cloud ate the baby, or ANYTHING

Nadine: I KNOW

Jen: then Micheal and Walt will pull up in a yacht

Nadine: AND MICHAEL WILL BE PREGNANT

10:30 AM Jen: yes, from the blonde lady [Juliet] who can impregnant her dying sister and male rats.

Nadine: LOL

Jen: and then Charlie will scream "APRIL FOOLS EVERYBODY"

Nadine: YES

Jen: then Jack will take a crap

Nadine: AND IT WILL BE GOLD Nadine: AND IT WILL GROW INTO A BOAT TREE

10:31 AM Jen: yes

Nadine: AND THEY WILL ALL SWIM AWAY EVEN THOUGH THE BOATS ARE RIGHT THERE AND THEY WILL NEVER SAY WHY THEY ARE SWIMMING AWAY SO FAST SCREAMING

Jen: then they will all sail off the island and crash right into Nebraska

Nadine: LOL YEA

Nadine: WITH THE JUNGLE AND EVERYTHING IN THE BACKGROUND Nadine: THEY'LL BE SAYING THAT ITS IN THE PAST Nadine: BUT THEN THE FLYING CARS GO BY Nadine: AND KATE IS PREGNANT AGAIN CAUSE THE BLACK SMOKE CAME BY AGAIN.
Nadine: AND SHE GIVES BIRTH TO A 32 YEAR OLD PENGUIN Nadine: WITH THE NUMBERS 2 6 8 15 16 42 IN THE FEATHERS OF THE PENGUIN, SINCE HURLEY WAS THE FATHER AND THOSE ARE HIS NUMBERS.

Jen: dude, that is totally how the show should go

Nadine: TAKE BETS, CAUSE I BET IT WILL

Jen: lol. i got $50 on Jack getting pregnant by Sawyer before Kate.

11:04 AM Jen: I also want $300 on the black smoke cloud getting pregnant and fighting a war in Iraq. While pregnant.

Nadine: lol YEA Nadine: I GOT 50 on HURLEY EATING EVERY TREE ON THE ISLAND AND BEING MURDERED BY THE HATCH WHEN IT COMES BACK AFTER BEING BLOWN UP.

In the Blogghetto.

Yes, that title is meant to be sung like Cartman singing that Elvis song. Sing along, it will make you feel better about Blogger being a jerkbum.

I will seriously bitchslap Blogger. Why does it torment me so? I hope it works long enough for me to write this, or there will be some kung fu type flailing and middle-fingeredness directed at my monitor.

I know that I kinda disappeared there for a couple weeks. So much so that even my friends have gotten bored and stopped reading my blog. But guess what? My best friend Nadine (you may know her from our frightening chatlogs) is getting married! Her boyfriend Joe proposed yesterday. I love weddings, so I'm really excited. Plus, she already asked me to be her Maid of Honor. Yay!

Anyway, I'm still alive. Just 2 parts busy and 1 part lazy... (and when my 1-part lazy ass goes to write something, Blogger is always 97 parts SUCK.)

Admitting something we all know.

Okay, for the past 2 months I have been completely neglecting my beloved blog and my blogger friends. I used to post on a daily basis and now it's more like once or twice a week. I still read and catch up on my friends' blogs every few days, but as for writing entries myself, I just haven't. At first I was convinced that I had writer's block or was in fact more dull than I had previously realized. But now I'm pretty sure that I've just gotten bored with the whole blogging thing now that I have a new toy in my life... a boyfriend.

It's one of those things that you don't want to be bored with, but you just are because your priorities have changed or some other interest has taken over.

I'm not deleting the blog or giving up on it. I guess I'm just admitting to myself and my fellow bloggers what has been obvious these past two months. I am gonna continue trying to write when I have time, but no promises on when or where or how good it will be. I do appreciate everyone that has been patient with me the past couple months as my posts have been slowly dwindling down.

I have a problem though you might be able to help with. I need another moderator (or two) for What the Blog!?

It's not a big job to do as it stands right now, but only because I haven't marketed it at all (besides asking members to post WtB!? buttons on their sidebars), so the traffic is slow and thus the members list is slow to grow. It really needs a moderator besides just me that will actually help it grow or market it a bit.

I guess I wasn't thinking much ahead other than starting a group for fun and making cute buttons. Maybe it needs group activities too? Not anything annoying or obnoxious or required or repetitive though. Lol, okay I'm trying not to be picky. But something once in a while to make the members remember they are part of Wtb!?. A monthly members spotlight? A contest with a limited edition award button? I don't know. I'll think more about it. (Maybe.)

Despite it being a small job to moderate (unless someone puts in the efforts to make it a big job), I don't want to give permissions to just anyone. But I know I need someone to help me out because I'm a really bad moderator and marketer there. I just like making buttons I guess... hah.

Okay, so let me know if you're interested at all. Obviously the base of the blog is there, it just needs some help to get it moving.

Something to make you physically ill.

I know, this is my 5th post in one day. Admit it... you love it.

Quote taken from The Superficial (hilarious celebrity news). Full story here, but all you really need to know is this:

After spending all that time with Britney Spears and her two kids, Paris Hilton says she's ready to start having children of her own. She tells Life & Style Weekly:

"It's been my dream to have four babies by 30. I look after animals, so I'd have a lot to give my kids."

Paris, I'm not sure how much clearer I can make this:
PLEASE DON'T REPRODUCE. THANKS.

The horror that is my purse.

My purse, full:
On pocket, from left to right: Ani DiFranco button, Tegan & Sara button.
On strap, above: Button that reads 'Green Beans: 12 oz.'

Okay. Get ready for it...

My purse, with of all contents:

From left to right (for the most part):

• Faceplate and case for my car stereo by JVC
  
• Nightmare Before Christmas wallet (bought from Hong Kong)
  
• Violet/fuscia coin purse from Clinique
• Pair of pink heart-shape Swarovski crystal earrings (bought on eBay)
• Pink multi-ink pen shaped "like a tiny dildo" (according to Nadine)
• Small spray bottle of "Glow by J.Lo" cheap-o imitation perfume
• 3 Hershey's dark chocolate squares
• Necklace in abalone and pearl from my great-grandma
• Mini-briefcase with essential grooming tools (file, tweezers, scissors, clippers, etc)
• Blue "cheese-grater" nailfile with a broken handle
• 4-sided pink/purple/blue/teal nail buffer/shiner (cannot live without it)
• 1 GB USB Flash Drive by Lexar in silver and black
• Giant silver safety pin (I have no idea why)
• Cheap plastic wide-tooth comb
• Mini travel-size bottle of Purell hand sanitizer with aloe
• Pink hair-tie
• Random loose quarter
• Big "claw" hair clip
  
• Wooden curved hair brush with rubber gripped handle
• "Candy BonBon" WetSlicks Crystals lip gloss by CoverGirl
  
• 2 tubes of Liquid Ice "sticky" lip gloss from Walgreens
• "Megaberry" Megabites Flavorful Lipstick by Jane
  
• "Silver Sand" Moisture Extreme lipcolor by Maybelline
• "Malt" lip gloss from Target's dollar aisle
• "Blossom" lip gloss by Ten
• "Creamy Natural" TruBlend Liquid Foundation by CoverGirl
• Las Vegas souvenir tin that says JENNY (filled with Ibuprofen and Allegra)
• Cheap Bic ballpoint from Olive Garden (oops)
  
• Uni-ball ballpoint pen
• Pink double-sided Sharpie
• Kyocera Dorado cell phone from Cricket
• Makeup brush for face powder
• "Translucent" CornSilk Shineless Pressed Powder by Sally Hansen
• Lighter that Echo gave me
  
• Natural Ice lipbalm by Mentholatum Co.
• Beeswax lipbalm by Walgreens (just like Burt's Bees!)
• Lava Lips flavored lip gloss by BonBons (you get this stuff at Walmart)
• "Twig" Beyond Color lip recovery cream by Avon
• Halloween face shimmer from Walgreens
• My keys, with:
• Crane Coffee keychain that says "I (heart) NADINE" in pink Sharpie
• Black/white keychain that reads:
  
• Baker's (Kroger's) card
• Omaha Public Library card
• Big metal clippy thing from The Boyfriend
  
• White bottle opener from Nadine
• Black and pink braided ghetto-lanyard
• 6 keys (3 keys actually useable): My house key, my car key, Mom's car key, my old car key (my first car, the Ford Escort LX, that I sold over 2 years ago), key to Gramma's old apartment (she has since moved twice), and an old house key (before getting all new doorknobs).

My prized possession, my Nightmare Before Christmas wallet I ordered on eBay from Hong Kong, which is not worth stealing because it never has any money in it:


Thanks to Mikala (and Tiffany) for this idea.

P.S. I have since gotten a new purse, but all the same crap got transferred into it so I'm not retaking the photos. Blogger also won't let me upload photos today, so you'll have to click on the link if you wanna ooh and ahh and my new purse.

I wish I may.

Dude, seriously, my wishlist at Froogle works approximately 12% of the time. So, I joined the rest of the world finally and signed up at Amazon for my wishlist instead.

And found a few things (not) worth mentioning:

Ice Cream in a Ball
Have you ever wanted ice cream really really badly, but you didn't want to stop playing catch?

"With the unique Play & Freeze Ice Cream Maker, you can make ice cream anywhere! You dont need electricity, just add ice and rock salt in one end and ice cream mix in the other end, then have a ball as you shake it, pass it or roll it!"

Oh my god. Does anyone else think this looks like a hamster ball? I cannot believe this thing comes in multiple colors. What freak actually finds this 'ice cream ball' and says to themselves, "You know, I really wish I had 6 playful colors to choose from, because the blue ice cream ball is just not worth $39.95, but I think an orange one would be." This is almost the stupidest product on all of Amazon.


When Tennis and Cheese Collide
I love tennis. I love creamy cheese spread. Why in the hell can't we merge these two?

OMG, FINALLY:

Product Features

• Cheese Spreader
• Tennis Design

Lovely description. What bothers me most is that there are 4 of them. Like you need a whole set of Tennis Cheese Spreaders to make your life complete.


Spam gets 4 new names
Naturally, this offends me on many levels. But I'll try and put my bias aside...

Alligator, Rattlesnake and more! Exotic and unforgettable food gift! Wild game just got wilder. Here's 4 cans of meat for your wildest, wooliest meat connoisseur to enjoy. He can try Smoked Rattlesnake, Cajun-style Alligator, Buffalo Au Jus and Elk Au Jus. It's a taste of the wild side, all ready to heat and serve!

Okay, the description made me laugh my ass off. "Wild game just got wilder" IN A CAN?! Not only are you not a 'wild, wooly, manly-man' because you are buying meat in a can (which you will heat up in the microwave), but also: holy god, don't you kill enough animals on a regular basis?! Do you really need to pretend that you've had alligator and elk? Don't kid yourself... there are 4 differently seasoned Spam chunks in those cans. Bon Appetite!


Advertising the obvious
Whoa. This is not very nice on so many levels...

"This is a great sweatshirt. Great gift."

Uh, great gift? I don't think the "Kiss Me, I'm Ugly" sentiment will go over too well with Grammy this holiday season. Or anyone. Maybe get it for yourself, if you have very little self-esteem. But don't expect many kisses.


The Depressing Coffee Mug
Nothing beats a hot cup of coffee and a mug that will make you cry first in the morning!
This one makes a great gift too! They ought to have it boxed in a set with the 'Kiss me, I'm ugly' hoodie. Can you throw in an eating disorder with that?

Remember folks, there are less than 30 shopping days left until X-mas 2006!

The world is in peril.

Because I was not online for chat for 10 minutes...
I got this email from Nadine:

Subject: This is an email message for Jennifer [last name]
Calling all Jenny's! Calling all Jenny's! Calling all Jenny's!
Message Head: Calling all Jenny's!
Body: Where are you Jenny? The world is in peril! Nadine is BORED!!!!! (Screams of horror from all over the globe!)

And my reply:

Calling all Nadine's! Calling all Nadine's! Calling all Nadine's!
Message Head: Calling all Nadine's!
Body: Suck it!
Signed: Jenny

And to satisfy my Nintendo Wiithdrawals here's a cute console-release comic from xkcd.com:

I still don't know what day it is.

Guess what, it's Web comic Monday!
(Shut up, I know.)

Today's comics are by the charmingly strange Max Cannon at Red Meat comics.

My favorite character he draws is called Bug-Eyed Earl, so I'm posting 5 of my all-time favorites with Earl.
















Ahaha!! Creepy.

Previous web comic tuesdays:
Oct 30th, 2006: Let's Pretend it's Tuesday!
Oct 17th, 2006: People search for my blog!?

(Real post to follow! I promise-ish.)

What the Blog!?

Okay. I thought of a name I like a lot for the blogging community thing.

It's called What the Blog!?

To learn more and/or become a member go to:
whatthebloggers.blogspot.com

I am still updating/adding to this by the minute though, especially today. So I will update (very briefly) on here this week if there are major changes.

Here's some more buttons I made up real quick just to have some to post up! I am trying to make a variety so everyone will like them. (Description & credits of buttons found at whatthebloggers.blogspot.com.) More buttons can be seen on the official site!


Go there! Sign up!

Links and blog networking junk.

It's been a little while since I've looked at my super-filled sidebar and updated my links.

So I did today. Yay! Ch-ch-check 'em out!

Also, I was looking online and on Blogger for a 'webring' of sorts. Okay, so that is the old school word for it. But basically I wanna join a kind of "blogging network" because those things make you feel cool. Like a blog-club or some junk. I searched for a vegetarian blog network, but no luck. Then I searched for a Midwestern network. No dice.

What the hell, dude? Am I bad at searching, or are there just not enough networks to join out there?

So, I was thinking maybe I should start my OWN damn network and then people will be all like, "Oh Jen Jen Jen! Can I join your Super Cool Fun Bloggers Blogging in Their Blogs Club?!"

And I will be all like, "Well... I guess so. But only if you are super, cool, fun, you blog about super cool fun shit, and also if you must promise to be my friend forever and ever."

And they'll be all like, "Oh yeah? That sounds worth it."

And I'd be all like, "Okay, sign here... and here. And an initial here. A drop of blood here. First born child here. Aaaaaaaand you're in!"

So anyway, I'm trying to come up with a good theme and/or name for the blog network before I make a new blog and start promoting it. And by promoting I mean sitting at my computer staring at the screen waiting for more than 2 people to sign up.

Anyway, maybe if you feel really creative you could help me think of a topic and/or name for this blog network. Leave your idea(s) in the comments section. But don't say "make it a vegetarian network" because then seriously no one would join except for me and Mikala (congrats on your 3 days... let me know if you need any help/encouragement/advice! I know it's really hard. Especially when the beef jerky starts talking to you. It happens, you'll see.) So I just want it to be less exclusive than that.

I want to make buttons too. So you can put them on your site when you become a member and totally whore it out for me on your sidebar so that more people will sign up.

A surefire crowd pleaser.

I get the feed for The Daily Puppy on my personalized google homepage. It's a site that features a different puppy every day and you can vote 1-11 biscuits on how cute you think it is. Of course, they all end up with between 9 and 11 every single time. Before you get excited, these puppies are not for sale (that I know of) and as far as I know anyone can submit their puppy (although I bet it's tough to get in).

I love puppies and basically everyone else does or should too. Although I made a promise to myself that I'll never own a puppy (I will adopt an older dog and/or mixed-breed instead), they are still damn adorable. I can still look! Here are just a few of my favorites.

So just try not to look at them and make squealing noises. I dare ya.

Apocalypse the Shepherd/Akita/Corgi Mix, passed out cold:
(more photos of Apocalypse here)

Loaf the Mini Dachshund, waiting for a tummy-rub:
(more photos of Loaf here)Wally the Corgi, lounging around:
(more photos of Wally here)

Wyatt the Labrador, trying not to look guilty:
(more photos of Wyatt here)
Tori the Chihuahua, looking kind of insane:
(more photos of Tori here)

Southwell the Beagle, probably running towards lunchtime:
(more photos of Southwell here)
Sylvester the King Charles Cavalier Spaniel:
(more photos of Sylvester here)
Phoebe the Dalmation, looking kinda retarded (in a CUTE way!):
(more photos of Phoebe here)
Marley the Rottweiler, chowing down on some kind of grass/leaves:
(more photos of Marley here)
Olwen the Corgi, looking exhausted:
(more photos of Olwen here)
Mateo the Mini Australian Shepherd:
(more photos of Mateo here)

Henry the Mini-Dachshund:
(more photos of Henry here)

Beethoven (unknown mixed-breed), sleeping on a shoebox or something:
(more photos of Beethoven here)
Marley the Beagle/Hound mix:
(more photos of Marley here)
Luka the Border Collie:
(more photos of Luka here)
Cassidy the Boxer, looking grumpy:
(more photos of Cassidy here)
Charley the Corgi, going as fast as his widdle legs will carry him:
(more photos of Charley here)
Apollo the Great Dane:
(more photos of Apollo here)