Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I just do what Google tells me.

Hello again, friends. Guess what? Google has once again influenced me to sign up for yet another service. It's Picasa, a web-based photo album. There's also Picasa for your desktop, but I don't really need that at the moment.

So, I'm of course using Gmail, but also GoogleTalk, GoogleEarth, GoogleNotebook, GoogleSpreadsheets, Blogger, Picasa, and next I want to set up a wishlist on Froogle and create some 3D models for GoogleEarth with SketchUp.

What this means is that I need my friends to post a comment here or email me if you give me permission to put photos I have of you in my Picasa album.

To break it down: My photo albums will not be publicly listed or searchable on Google (or any other search engine), but the link will be posted on my blog here so that anyone who comes here can view all the images. Basically, I'm trying to keep the riffraff out as much as possible but still share my photos with friends.

If you do not comment or email me with your permission, I will not put any photos of you in my albums. So, don't say I don't like you because there's no pics of you!!! It's your own fault! There isn't a lot there yet, so I'm not linking to it until I get some worthwhile photos in there (like, say, when it looks like I have more than 2 friends). I will let you know and post the link permanently on my links menu when it's ready.

Speaking of willingly being controlled by Google, I finally switched one of my best friends to the Google side. For clarification, there are two sides: Google vs. Everything Else. Phase 2 of Operation: Turn My Friends Into Geeks Like Me is underway.

Monday, August 28, 2006

How to post comments.

Honestly, I didn't think I would have to explain this, but apparently I do:

nadine: that 'haven't never paid rent', that's horrible
what, do you think i was too mean?

: ooh, leave comments!!

: NO

: well if you don't want to leave comments you don't have to, jeez.


: i will comment

: he deserves it and since when do you care about being nice?

jen: i do care about being nice!!
nadine: LOL
jen: god you're evil
nadine: you are
jen: good one.
nadine: i left a message
nadine: comment
jen: yay!!!! lemme check it
nadine: left it on the 'haven't never paid rent'
nadine: why do i have to put in friend's email addy?
nadine: i just keep putting in yours
jen: where?
jen: what?
nadine: when i click on the leave comment thing
jen: dude, that is only for blog users to log in, right?
jen: so don't put anything there.
nadine: i can't leave a message unless i fill it in
jen: no way, really?
jen: well put in a made up one i guess
jen: i dunno, did it work?
nadine: did what work?
jen: the comment
nadine: did you read it?
jen: i can't find it on the site
nadine: can't find what?
jen: your comments

(finally, here comes the realization for me...)

jen: ohhhhh
jen: you are sending me links, nadine... LOL
nadine: what?
jen: you are not leaving comments, you are emailing me the link to my own blog entries.
nadine: not your email
nadine: what are you talking about
jen: you clicked on the wrong icon
nadine: nuh uh, whats going on
jen: yes.
nadine: no
jen: dude, when you go to comment, you click on the text that says "# comments", do NOT click on the little icon of the envelope
jen: that is why it was asking you for your friend's email address, you were forwarding the link
nadine: but thats all there is
jen: no, click on the comments text, it's text not icon.
nadine: jenny
nadine: i wanted to leave those messeges, stop stealing them
jen: i'm serious nadine
nadine: jenny
jen: i didn't steal them, you emailed them to me!!
nadine: i dont get it
jen: you didn't leave ANY comments, you emailed the link with a comment about the link to my email.
jen: it won't show up on the page, ever
jen: ok i'm just gonna remove the 'email to a friend' envelope icons so you are less confused.
nadine: no i get it now
nadine: i didn't know that though
jen: there, i took out the 'email post' envelope icons. now there's less to confuse you.
jen: if you sent any more 'comments' to other addresses, they're gone... lol
nadine: well i sent all my comments to and
jen: wellllll those comments are gone and none of your 'comments' were actually posted.
nadine: someone is going to get one of them, cause only one came back to me
nadine: HA HA HA HA HA
nadine: its like a grandma using a computer, ha ha ha thats freakin hilarious
nadine: you should post this as an example of how i suck so bad at computers
jen: dude, i am starting to be ashamed though. lol. maybe i don't want every other post to be about how i have to explain something to you.....

Oh my god. So, uhm, I guess I'm not
that ashamed yet since it's on here.

The thing that I love about Nadine and why we are best friends is not because she's that retarded (not legally anyway... kidding!!), but it's that she actually lets me post about it. Sweeeeet.

I hope Joe, Nadine's computer tech boyfriend, reads this and doesn't immediately burst into tears.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

It's not that awful.

I apologize in advance for being such a nerd.

I regularly read SomethingAwful. That's where I heard about Miss High Quality. You can even read the same bashing they did on her that I read initially. It even continues to another page if you want to read on. (Note: SomethingAwful is not usually safe for work)

They have a variety of funny and awful stuff on there. I especially like the chat logs between Josh "Livestock" Boruff and his friend Tom "Moof" Davies. Seriously, this newest chat is one of the funniest things ever. (Original link here.) Just attempt to see my nerdy point of view folks. It may be funniest to me partially because this is often how chats between Nadine and I go:

Livestock: it is strange we call them chat logs you know
Livestock: is there a forest of chats somewhere
Livestock: and a lumberjack that chops down the chats
Livestock: and do the chat logs float down a river
Livestock: or ride on the back of a truck
Livestock: until they find their way
Livestock: into our heads
Livestock: to be typed out
Livestock: is it possible what i just said is a metaphor for the great force that brings us words
Livestock: is conversing a forest
Livestock: MOOF
Livestock: do you have thoughts
Moof: i think that if conversing is a forest
Moof: then your mind is like the sahara desert
Moof: full of sand livestock
Moof: sand
Livestock: they don't call these sandlogs you idiot!!
Moof: they dont call them forestlogs either jerk
Livestock: MORON
Livestock: this is the last time i share any profound insights with you
Moof: do you want a sandwich
Livestock: yes
Moof: okay :)

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Haven't never paid rent since.

Okay, remember how I said that my friend Echo and I were bored and put up a rather blunt profile on a random dating site? You don't? Ok then, well thanks for reading so closely. Anyway, surprisingly someone responded, although I wouldn't call it hate mail. First, check out her ad:

Looking for that perfect person that complements me, so we can bring out the best in each other. Here is what I am looking for: smart, handsome, honest, 24-27 yrs. old with no kids and little to no major baggage, no drugs and preferably a non-smoker, knows how to dress like normal human being, has his priorities straight with a job and a car and a place to live that is not his parents basement. This guy that complements me must have a great sense of humor and a nice ass. I am just being honest and hoping to get honest replies.

Like I said, pretty tame for the most part and nothing we said in her profile wasn't true, however we were anxiously awaiting to get some hate mail as a result of her bluntness. I guess guys actually appreciate honesty, who knew? Or they take one look at it and say to themselves, "Crap, this girl is nothing like my mother."

Now, here's the reply she got along with my comments. (Note: Names have been changed.)

Hello my name is Bob.

Hi Bob!

Your profile made me think twice about actually responding, but what the hell, nothing to lose.

Oh Bob, don't put yourself down. I'm sure you can lose lots of things... and lose them well.

To tell you the truth I graduated in 99 and moved to Omaha within the month and haven't never paid rent since. My boss wants to put me up in his basement for a while.

"haven't never paid rent since." Ok, no comment on that. But for those of you keeping score, that's almost 7 years of mooching to date. On a side note, if this guy starts his sentences with "to tell you the truth" then maybe he might get along with Echo afterall. But wait, let's remind ourselves of this: "haven't never paid rent since" OK, nevermind. Sorry I said anything.

I lived in Omaha and attended UNO for two years. I moved there [to Omaha] with my girlfriend from high school, so I didn't get into much partying and what not right away. Things didn't work out with her and I moved to MINN to attend University of Minnesota at Mankato. There I began to let loose and enjoy some of the things that I hadn't in Omaha.

Let loose? Uhm, are you referring to sex or drugs there, buddy? Let's be honest here.

After a short year there, I decided that I wanted to go to law school, and since there are only two in NE I choose the cheaper of the two, UNL. I lost interest in about a year...

Wow. 3 colleges. Who's paying for this, Bob? Is this why you have no money for rent? Jeez, nevermind about the honesty, man. Just lie lie lie.

...Had a couple restuaraunt jobs and then took this carpentrey job. It has been uphill ever since.

Well, I can tell your 3 colleges didn't teach you how to spell. But nonetheless, thanks for playing Bob.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Some things better left unsaid.

So, my friend Echo and I were bored, single, and especially annoyed with guys last Friday night and we set up a rather blunt profile on a dating website, expecting to get some pretty harsh hate mail in reply. None so far, unfortunately, because if there were hate mail I already have her permission to post it here for your amusement (all names changed of course). Okay, let's be honest here, it's really just for my amusement and my friends as well. Anyway, Echo's bold move to post this rather humorously honest profile (which was literally just a list of personal requirements... ie: job, car, place to live other than parents' basement, great sense of humor and most importantly a 'nice ass'), thus prompted to me to reconsider my own mental list of wants/needs from a guy. I think I need to add more! Hah.

Echo is damn funny but it's so true. Not one thing we put in her profile was out of line.

But I ran across this lady's requirements and realized that comparatively the profile we wrote for Echo was just plain mild. Check out the 'facts' that she states in bullet points about herself, and then scroll down to where she says:

I realize that some of you will find this post depressing because you'll realize that you don't qualify as a high quality man and thus won't be able to get a high quality woman. You have a few options:

  1. Lower your standards and stop pursuing women who are out of your league. There are lots of fat single mothers out there who can'’t find dates either.
  2. Look in the developing world. If you'’re literate with a home computer and an internet connection you are very wealthy compared to the rest of the world. Citizenship or legal permanent residency in a rich country makes you more attractive to women in poorer countries. Your value on the dating market is thus much higher there.
  3. Self-improvement! I used to be a fat unattractive college dropout who couldn'’t get her life together. Now I'’m thin, attractive, and successfully self-employed after graduating. You can make yourself over into a higher-quality man capable of winning a higher-quality woman too.

Wow! I'm fairly sure this lady is just being modest... She really shouldn't hold back so much. She's actually a 3-time Miss Universe pageant winner and self-made multi-billionaire. I wish her luck finding her dream guy... I only hope he's as honest as she is.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

The horrors of dating blindly.

As a single girl in a fairly small city, I've tried all the dating routes available to me. Single people know what I am talking about here.

"Oh, Jen! I know this guy who knows this guy who's nephew is this girl's cousin and he is PERFECT FOR YOU! Please oh please let me play matchmaker and ruin an entire evening for you!"

Okay, so from the advice of my best friend Nadine, I thought I would share with you my most horrible blind date story for this evening's entry.

So, we meet for lunch in the Old Market. He asked me to pick the restaurant and of course I choose Ahmad's Persian Cuisine because it is wonderful. I walk up, fully expecting a frightening troll, and find a rather cute, nerdy guy (just like I like them) waiting for me. Well, we sit down to eat and the conversation is sparse and awkward. I am trying, but being quite shy myself, it's difficult to even keep any conversation going with this guy. He is either equally as shy, or just not interested.

We eat a great lunch, (as per usual at Ahmad's) and he even says he is glad to have tried Persian food and really liked his meal. Just so you know the background of this, Ahmad's is a very nice, quite fancy Persian restaurant. Albeit fairly priced, the food is not cheap. You drink water or tea out of lovely wine glasses. That is the kind of fancy we are talking about here. Water out of dainty freakin' wine glasses.

So, we are talking a bit, waiting for the check to arrive, and then he coughs a little.
He coughs, and then spits up something unmentionable into his WINE GLASS. Then, as if realizing that I do in fact still have eyes with which I can clearly see he is literally spitting up in front of me, he turns away finally as if embarrassed, and mumbles: "I have a cold."

I am utterly shocked at this point, and politely say, "Oh, that's okay" and try desperately to control my urge to run screaming from my all-time favorite restaurant in all of Omaha. All I can think of is how the poor waitress at Ahmad's will react to catching a glimpse at this guy's wine glass when she clears our table after we depart. Oh please don't let her remember me next time... "Say, isn't that the girl who was with the guy who hocked a nasty into his wine glass?"

Oh, shudder.

So, I brush it off because I am extremely patient and attempt to subdue my own instincts to cough and gag after watching this. Thankfully, the check arrives before I am required to make any more conversation. Since it is a blind date that didn't even go well, I feel obligated to go dutch. So, as he is reaching for his wallet, I am reaching for my purse. He looks through his wallet and then begins to mumble again... I look up and see that he appears to be uncomfortable and/or displeased. So I say, "I only have a credit card, so I'll ask her to split it first." And then he looks even more uncomfortable still, and pulls a small wad of cash out of his wallet and slides it across the table to me.

Then he says, "I forgot to bring enough money."

Okay. You knew where you were going was not going to be cheap. You knew it was a date.

There is literally $6 in the pile of cash he has handed me, and I stuff it in my purse and say "That's okay" because at this point, it is okay. I just want to get the hell out of there. I feel embarrassed because this is the kind of thing that snakey guys would do to get out of paying for a date with someone they are not interested in. I'm sure guys do that, somewhere on earth. I'm positive I saw it in a movie once. So, I have no idea if this guy is seriously this pathetic, or if he is playing me. Either way, I don't care, because I pay for our meals with my card and we leave.

But it gets weirder. As we are walking out, he randomly tells me that his cell phone (the only contact I have for him) is being shut off that day. I say "Oh, that's too bad." when I really mean "Oh freakin well." Once again, I just feel like he is playing me. But then, and this is the strangest part of all, he actually wants to hang out after this horrific ordeal. He actually asks if I want to walk around the Old Market (downtown Omaha) for a while before he goes to work.

I say, "No, I really can't, I have to run some errands." Ouch, I'm sure that one stung. As any guy knows, girls will ditch ANY plans or responsibilities for a guy they are really into. That is just the rule. If I am crazy about the guy, I am gonna ditch my own grandmother (I love you Gramma!) so I can talk with him and possibly make out with him profusely. Yeah, I said make out profusely. I swear to god that makes sense.

Anyway, so he walks me to my car (he doesn't have one: shocker), and then actually tries to hug me as I am nearing my car. Let me just tell you, I am the dodgeball champion. Seriously, a 6'2 loogie-filled broke-ass guy was coming right at me, and BAM I was outta there. Ducked into my car and waved goodbye.

Looking back I still have no idea if the guy was playing me or actually pathetic. His last few actions of course made him seem as though he was just a poor, poor sap with terrible luck and wicked phlegm issues. So, really, I tend to lean more towards the sympathy angle of it as I look back on it now.

As much as I hate to be insensitive... Ah, give me a break, the guy was a grade A loser. If he was really broke and sick and nasty, why did he agree to the date in the first place? All he had to say was "I'm broke and sick, let's postpone until I'm a functioning human again." But no, he went ahead with it anyway and made a total ass of himself. He really has no one to blame but himself.

But seriously, if anyone has a funnier dating story, I have to hear it. Because I think I win.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Crazy and bash worthy.

If you're an IRC kid or just a total nerd, you may have already heard of, a database of hilarious or just stupid chat logs/quotes submitted by people who are total geeks. Some of the jokes may be over your head unless you are some kind of freak that knows every single inside joke on the net. But the majority of the chats are hilarious to anyone, even non-geeks.

And speaking of non-geeks that also enjoy Bash... here's a fun conversation from googletalk with my best friend Nadine today.

nadine:3:43 PM hey i was signing up for another gmail account and i typed in nadine.jones@gmail and they said it was taken

i was going to write an email and see what the hell
jen: dude, you ARE nadine.jones@gmail
nadine: no im not
jen: watch, i'll email you. hold on.
nadine: my email addy that i signed up for is nadinejones@gmail 3:44 PM and i just tried nadine.jones@gmail
jen: check your email.nadine: WHAT THE F-CK?
jen: lol.
nadine: no really whats going on
3:45 PM jen: dude, you are n.adinejones@gmail, nad.inejones@gmail, nadinejo.nes@gmail
periods are like blanks.nadine: what?jen: lol that was HILARIOUS
jen: that was bash-worthy nadine: cause i started to write an email to someone
jen: yeah you would have emailed yourself.3:46 PM nadine: this is what i wrote
I am a Nadine Jones too. i was trying to sign up for a gmail account and tried nadine.jones@gmail and it said it was taken. just curious about where you got your name. I havent come across any nadine's or very many jones's either. please write back.
jen: you composed it too.
nadine: you should turn that in to bash
nadine: cause that would be so freakin funny
nadine: cause thats the kinda thing that you don't have to know me to think it was funnyjen: yeah we should
but we should like give you a different last name so people don't really email you.
cuz that would be bad
3:50 PM
nadine: our names are just jen and nadine
nadine: i can't see your last name on here
or mine
jen: DUDE.
nadine: WHAT?
oh my god. it is not your day.
3:51 PM nadine: HA H HA
this whole thing should go on bash

nadine: i feel bad for you having to talk to me

Sunday, August 13, 2006

First post will be both random and useless.

Hi all.

I don't have much to say but I will say it anyway. I'm Jen in Omaha. I love Omaha and sometimes you'll have to put up with me writing about it. Like, restaurant reviews and fun things to do around here. It's not a field of corn, you know.

This is my first blog, so don't leave comments saying "for the love of god, delete this trainwreck" or "boo hiss" because honestly, do you want to make me cry?

That said, here's a completely random list of links to places I frequent and you should too if you know what's good for ya.

Okay, no more links today because soon you'll want to click me in the head.

Also, I have an important announcement to make: I want a Wii.
Here's the countdown...

More later, unless this is my only post. Check back multiple times a day. No really, it will be fun to read this one post over and over until something new may or may not appear.

Good day!