Sim Animals: shake your shit off edition

Okay, wtf Nintendo/EA? My wrist hurts. A lot.

The primary way to move forward in the game of Sim Animals for the Wii is to "wave your hand" (cursor) over everything. Which means I am gently shaking the Wiimote CONSTANTLY for the entire duration of play.

Which means, in 30 minutes I have unlocked a new Forest areas, a new animal, a new plant, and, oh yeah, CARPAL TUNNEL.

Am I playing this wrong, and if not, where the hell is the warning on this box about playing longer than 20 minutes? Let me just give you a rundown...

Play consists of:

• Shake wiimote over a bush and it will drop it's goods (berries, flowers, etc).
• Shake wiimote over animals who like you to give them lovin'.
• Shake wiimote over animals who don't like you to piss them off.
  
• Shake wiimote over the trees to drop pinecones, acorns, helicopter-seeds, etc.
• Shake it over the plants with butterflies above them to make them spit out a seed...
• ...then shake it some more over the spat-out seed to make it grow into a plant.
• Shake it over a tree for about 30 seconds straight to knock the tree down altogether.
• Shake it over the felled stump/trunk to create sticks.

Basically I am jacking off this entire forest. Men, how do you DO it!? I'm in PAIN!

Animal Crossing: Coma Edition

Ahh, the sweet lull of an Animal Crossing coma... how I've missed it!

I compare playing Animal Crossing to being in a coma, because just like a coma, the duration of play usually involves no movement, response, or anything that resembles productivity, on my part.

I can sometimes hear others speaking to me, like my boyfriend, as he comes in and out of the room, but the only reply he gets from me are in the form of yes-or-no eye blinks.

I took time off work for this launch and it was well worth it. Unfortunately, I will be returning to work tomorrow... ugh. Why must the real world interfere with my video games!?

Animal Crossing friend codes, anyone?

Animal Crossing: City Folk for the Nintendo Wii launched Nov. 16th and I bought it! However, I don't know anyone else who has it, so that means I can't visit other towns.

Total suck, Nintendo. Why do you hurt me so?

So, does anyone want to swap friend codes? My town has yummy pears. I am currently paying off my 3rd mortgage (Yes, I took time off of work in order to play this game) and I have a spare invitation to Redd's if you want it!

If you want to swap, please leave a comment below. Or email me at jenomaha (at) gmail (dot) com

I must warn you though, I do teach my townsfolk to say rather offensive things... Because, damnit, it's funny. So, if you're easily offended, don't visit my town. More than likely, my crude neighbors will move around and become YOUR crude neighbors.

Also... I have Wii Speak if you wanna chat.

Battlestar Galactica cake.

My boyfriend Corey's birthday was last month and he is a big fan of Battlestar Galactica (the new version, not the old version). He even got me hooked on it too. Which I guess didn't take much effort since I'm an overall fan of anything sci-fi. But trust me, the BSG is really awesome.

As you know, I'm a huge fan of geek cakes. So I really wanted to try making one myself.
So here's the cake I made for Corey:
And so all the non-fans of BSG realize that it's a pretty accurate job, here's the real BSG logo that I modelled the cake after:

Here it is again in non-yellowish-lighting and taken with a better camera:
Just so you know, I have never baked anything in my life before this. (But I swear it tasted as yummy as it looked.) So I think I did pretty damn good considering I have no experience whatsoever.

Yeah, I know I didn't write in "battlestar galactica" around the top of the logo, but I was running out of white frosting and I didn't think I could space it well enough without screwing up the cake (as you can see, even the "BSG 75" I wrote on there is spaced a little funky.)

Despite its flaws, I'm pretty proud of myself! :D

So it goes.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr. died today at the age of 84.

"an indescribable writer whose books are like nothing else on earth" -- quote from the New York Times

Works you may SHOULD know by Mr. Vonnegut:
(taken from wikipedia)

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Novels	1950s: Player Piano (1952) • The Sirens of Titan (1959) 1960s: Mother Night (1961) • Cat's Cradle (1963) • God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, or Pearls Before Swine (1965) • Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children's Crusade (1969) 1970s: Breakfast of Champions, or Goodbye, Blue Monday (1973) • Slapstick or Lonesome No More (1976) • Jailbird (1979) 1980s: Deadeye Dick (1982) • Galápagos (1985) • Bluebeard (1987) 1990s: Hocus Pocus (1990) • Timequake (1997)
Short story collections	Canary in a Cathouse (1961) • Welcome to the Monkey House (1968) • Bagombo Snuff Box (1999)
Collected essays	Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons (1974) • Palm Sunday, An Autobiographical Collage (1981) • Fates Worse than Death, An Autobiographical Collage (1990) • God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian (2001) • A Man Without a Country (2005)
Plays	Happy Birthday, Wanda June (1970) • Between Time and Timbuktu, or Prometheus Five: A Space Fantasy (1972) • Make Up Your Mind (1993) • Miss Temptation (1993) • L'Histoire du Soldat (1993)
Adaptations
Stage	Welcome to the Monkey House (1970, 1974) • Sirens of Titan (1974) • Cat's Cradle (1976) • God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater (1979) • Breakfast of Champions (1984) • Requiem (Stone, Time, and Elements: A Humanist Requiem) (1988) • Slaughterhouse-Five (1996)
Film	Happy Birthday, Wanda June (1971) • Slaughterhouse-Five (1972) • Next Door (1975) • Slapstick of Another Kind (1982) • Mother Night (1996) • Breakfast of Champions (1999)
Television	Displaced Person (1958, 1985) • EPICAC (1974, 1992) • Who Am I This Time? (1982) • All the King's Horses (1991) • Next Door (1991) • The Euphio Question (1991) • Fortitude (1992) • The Foster Portfolio (1992) • More Stately Mansions (1992) • Harrison Bergeron (1995)

So it goes, Mr. Vonnegut. So it goes.

This guy's relationship was doomed.

Okay, I had to share this with you guys... it's too funny: (Original link here)

How dating my ex was like playing DOOM II on nightmare mode
Posted by Boyd

I want to begin by saying I had options: I could have chosen an easier difficulty level, even ultra-violence would have worked. There are plenty of nice, moderately sane girls out there who I could have dated. But no, I willingly chose nightmare mode. I went for the unstable, completely batshit-crazy girl who taught me what it truly means to experience Hell on Earth.

The Honeymoon Phase
It starts out fun. I'm running around killing shotgun guys and everything is cool. I've got a chainsaw and a boomstick and everything is going my way. She knows I've got my own thing going on and respects my independence. I'm having so much fun, I wish I could play this forever!

DOOM II - You had me at ROAARRR ROWWWLLL ROHRRROHRR

Let the smothering begin
Pretty soon things start getting tricky, there seems to be a never-ending supply of Imps and they just won't stop. Baby, I love you but I need some space, okay? I've got other monsters to kill and these keycards aren't getting any easier to find.


Trick questions
So there's invisible monsters now? How the hell am I suppose to shoot an invisible monster? When you asked me if I thought your best friend was attractive how was I suppose to know “Hell yeah she's hot!” was the WRONG answer? I'm a simple creature, be straight with me.

Goodbye, personal space
My bathroom never looked the same after you moved in. You wallpapered the house with entrails, spattered blood, and demonic symbols. You took down my favorite Bjork poster and replaced it with a “kittens around the world” calendar. You're with me morning, noon, and night.

Picking the daily fight
Now there's an arch-vile running around resurrecting the dead. We've been over this issue a hundred times, are you just looking for an excuse to fight? Can't we go just one day without mass-murder?

What used to be cute is now highly annoying
If I have to shoot one more flaming skull I swear to God I'm going to off myself with this plasma gun and end this once and for all.

I want to cheat on you
I'm trapped in this relationship and IDDQD and IDKFA are starting to sound very appealing. I'm a man of ethics, however, and I'm going to endure this masochistic adventure as honestly as I can.

(Plus, the sex is still great)

Your friends are a bunch of Cacodemons
Bloated, lethargic, one-eyed beasts: your friends are a bunch of self-centered, gossiping monsters who are only concerned with a) themselves and b) bitching about whoever isn't within earshot.

The straw that broke the Cyberdemon's back
I've endured the hordes of hell for you. I've watched our relationship evolve from a casual encounter into a level of commitment that rivals most marriages. Your cat (which I'm allergic to, by the way) has managed to defecate, urinate, and claw everything I own that is less than four feet tall. I have no armor, health, and I'm reduced to using my little spike-covered fist to fight with. I've had it - It's over.

Moving on
Doom II: I've started seeing someone else. She supports true 3D and promises things you could never give me. It's not that I don't love you, I just think we're better off as friends. Specifically, I think we're better off as friends who live at least three states apart.

LOL.

Best. Analogy/Parody. Ever.

Okay, so I really hope there are a couple fans of Doom among my readers that will fully appreciate this. Even if you're not a fan though, it's still hilarious.

Geek alert!

Excuse me while I geek-out about software:

Uh, wow. I cannot even believe that Adobe Photoshop CS came out in 2003. Wtf. 4 years ago!?

I knew when Photoshop CS2 came out, because I tried it and then couldn't afford to upgrade to it. And I know that there is a beta version of Photoshop CS3 available now, which I will also try and not be able to afford. But I glanced at the copyright this afternoon when I launched Photoshop and it was like a sticker shock to see "2003" there.

I guess I just can't even believe I've been doing graphics for 4 years now. Time really does go by without you realizing it. I feel a bit old. I mean, not really. But I sorta feel almost like a grown-up. Almost.

I also can't believe I've been using Photoshop for 4 years and I'm still learning new shit about it on a regular basis. When I graduated from college I thought they'd taught me every trick there is in Photoshop and Illustrator that would get me by in the Real Working Adult World. But uh, NO. I learned most of the tricks I use today on my own and through trial and error.

I wonder if someone could find me (because I'm too busy to do it myself) a list of the specifications on CS versus CS2 and versus CS3. I vaguely looked around Adobe.com for such a chart or list, but frankly didn't look that hard for it. Because I'd like to contrast and compare what I use now and what I would be upgrading to if I purchased CS3... but without reading a 400 page users manual or sifting through 100 pages of forums.

* grumble * Back to work.

Geeks eat cake too.

My birthday isn't until December, but you can start planning now if you want. Or maybe you have a geeky friend who would appreciate an awesome cake. I know this has been done elsewhere, but I just love the idea so I thought I'd share some of my favorite geek cakes:

Happy Birthday coding cake. Not my cup of tea, but The boyfriend would love it.

Lego cake. No explanation needed. :) I'll take mine in ANY color.

Arrr, matey. Yeah, so geeks have this fascination with pirates. (Because they are usually "software pirates") Pirates, and also ninjas. It's almost a war over who's more awesome. But yeah, apparently the pirates win because they have this freakin sweet cake.

Well this is about as close to a "ninja" cake as I've seen. Which isn't very close. Well who hasn't played Mortal Kombat anyway? I once went out with a guy who had the soundtrack to Mortal Kombat and would play absolutely nothing else in his car. Ugh.

Homestar Runner! If you don't know Homestar, you should go here. I'm still looking for a Trogdor cake. Nothing says geeky like online cartoons.

Very cute Star Trek cake with the Enterprise and Vulcan saying "Live Long and Prosper".

Superb R2D2 Cake. Wow.

A Nintendo Gamecube cake. Aww. Isn't it cuuute? I'll take one in Platinum, because that's that color of my GC. Thanks! (Actually, my GC is skinned with a lovely pink faux Louis Vuitton print from eBay.)

Another Nintendo cake, this time it's Kirby. Am I just out of the Kirby loop (Frankly, I don't ever remember playing a Kirby game, so I assume that I am) or is he supposed to be carrying a sandwich on dark rye with eyeballs? WTF is that?

OMG! Yessssss. Dual Nintendo Wii remote (wii-mote) cakes. Beautiful.

Remember my post from this past September, You can have your Mario and eat it too, where I said that this Super Mario/Princess Peach/Mushroom wedding cake would be my future wedding cake? Well, I've decided that that's probably not gonna happen...

Because, this one is SO much better!!!Oh my hell. Look at that masterpiece. A "shoot-em-up" style wedding cake. Check out the detail. From bottom to top, here's the specs:

• Level One, bottom of cake: 1 dead groom and crashed airplane.
  
• Level Two: 1 groom scaling the edge of the cake (in the back), 1 groom shooting a machine gun at the top of the cake, and 2 other grooms appear to be working together to saw down one of the legs of the cake.
• Level Three: 1 groom with pushed-down detonator and a very big explosion and a couple of the cake legs blown up (causing the cake top to be tilted)
  
• Level Four, top of cake: 1 groom climbing up to tilted top level and Bride and groom backing away to cake's far edge.

Required improvements: Bride needs glasses and an uzi. The uzi in white, please.

Guess who rocks at Wii Boxing!?

Yes, it's me. So yeah. I guess I'm a tad violent ... :D who knew?!

The Wii is everything I dreamed it would be and more.I'm really good at pitching in Wii Baseball, but I suck majorly at batting. I think I hit the ball like twice and both those times it was a foul!
I'm not so great at bowling either, but then again it was the first one I played and so I was still getting used to the controller. I'm getting better at Tennis, once I finally started to get the hang of it. I think that Tennis will be my 2nd favorite. I sucked majorly at first at golf, because I just couldn't get the feel right. I got better after I learned I didn't need to whap the hell out of the ball every single time. Granted, I suck in REAL LIFE at any and all sports, so this was a bit of a new thing for me, you know, exerting energy and uhm standing while playing video games. It's insanity, I say!!
(All photos lovingly borrowed from www.gamespot.com, who hopefully won't be mad at me and make me take them down.)

Because I now know that the Wii Sports package is fun and awesomely awesome, I have a couple suggestions for Nintendo:

Wii Hockey: Really, it's just Wii Golf-Gone-Hardcore mixed with Wii Boxing! You can do the punching and head-butts like the real pro hockey players! And then swing your Wii controller as the hockey stick to make a goal. It would rock, let me tell ya.

Wii Soccer: You really only need to make "Wii Controller Anklets" that will velcro around your ankles, so that you can kick and manuever the ball. You could also have a move where you head-butt the ball or your opponents. Uhmm, okay apparently I just really wanna head-butt someone.

Wii Hackey Sack: You would use the same Wii Controller Anklets, as with Soccer, and then hold the Controller and Nunchuck in your hands too. This could be played with a lot to do SO many different combo tricks and junk. Ohh man. (Ahem. You could even head-butt the hackeysack. I'm sorry. Had to put it out there.)

Wii Juggling: How sweet could Nintendo make juggling!? You could just be turning/swirling your Controller and Nunchucks as if you were juggling. Except you would be able to play as a pair or team, and you can choose to juggle knives (will have to be extra careful not to kill your partner!), bowling balls (will have to move faster/harder since it is a "heavier" object), or stuff that is on fire! (again with the careful.)

Wii Girl Fight: This would be an awesome thing for both guys AND girls. For guys it's obvious why they'd want to see a chick-fight. For girls, this would be an awesome way to let out some aggression in a humorous, silly way. I think you should be able to design the Mii (character) of your opponent so I can FINALLY beat up some of the girls I went to highschool with. :D

I definitely want to see ALL of the following moves implimented in this game:
- Bitch-slapping
- Hair pulling
- Scratching/Clawing with nails
- Goosenecking

So, there you have it. Nintendo's next installment of Wii Sports! I think they should call it: Wii Sports ii.

Get it? Cuz it's like the Roman numeral for 2, but it's in lower case, so it's like Wii? Get it!? Aren't I clever?

Are you tired of the Wii jokes yet!? TOO BAD.

Oh, happy day!

Uhm. GUESS WHAT, PEOPLES!?

As of 1 hour ago...
I have my very own Nintendo Wii!!!

Joe, Nadine's husband (they're newlyweds... and that was REALLY weird typing that), went and found TWO Wii's at two different stores in Omaha in ONE afternoon. (He now says that I haven't been trying hard enough to get one, but I dunno if that's true.)

Anyway. The second Wii is ALL MINE!!!

Joe totally went out of his way to get this Wii for me from Target, so he is definitely the most wonderfulest person on earth for the next 4 years. (After 4 years, he may resume being just Joe again if he chooses.)

"I am busy playing with my Wii right now. Please leave a message at the beep."

Beeeeeeep.

Guess what ELSE?

I get to play my new Wii on a VERY FREAKIN BIG PROJECTOR SCREEN at my boyfriend's place. It's as big as the wall, people. That means it's a life-sized projection. The amazing interactivity of the Nintendo Wii mixed with a life-size screen!? How can it get better than this? Tell me how!?

IT CAN'T, THAT'S RIGHT.

Jewelry for geek chicks.

Geek girls like jewelry too. I've noticed that in recent years the amount of geekery geared towards women has gone up up up! Which means, yes ladies, geek jewelry galore!

So here are a few of my favorite geeky gems:

Zelle Style
My fav: Audioplug necklace. A jack and plug are used to clasp the necklace! Freakin' sweet.

Also Awesome: Most everything on the site, and especially check out the Zelle 133T Collection, which features some gorgeous limited edition pieces.



ThinkGeek
My fav: The fan guard pendant! Super stylish and geeky.
Also awesome: The Fuse Ladder necklace, not-really-a-charity-thing Geek Awareness bracelets, ultra-cool RAM necklace and matching RAM earrings. And the ever-popular d20 spiral necklace which features a removeable 20-sided die in a lovely spiral cradle.





Jacqueline Sanchez
My fav: The Forever Young collection, which features all lego jewelry! My favorite of the bunch are the lego bracelets in pink-and-lime (as shown) or black.

Also awesome: Lego earrings, cufflinks, pendants, and more.



Fractal Spin
My fav: The Eprom necklace, a reprogrammable memory chip with "a window cut out revealing its prismatic, sparkley innards". Oooh, I love me some sparkley innards!!

Also awesome: Colorful Cat5 choker or Cat5 bracelet. Another cool fan guard necklace.



Stewart Jewelry Designs
My fav: The Harlequin Resistor Necklace & Earrings set. I wouldn't necessarily wear this set, because I don't know anything about electronics and I'm just not in that genre of geek-girl, but this set is still very pretty. And I'm sure there is a geek girl out there (interested in electronics!) that would truly appreciate these.Also awesome: Pretty much every single piece in this Geek Girl collection. This shop really mixes style with geekery. By focusing on colors and even adding beads or gems where necessary, they've added more of a feminine touch to each piece.

Marche Noir
My fav: FUN-ctional computer-key rings. It seems that these rings are "spring-loaded" so that you are actually able to press the "keys" up and down like you would on any standard keyboard. That is so weird and funky; I love it!


Made with Molecules "Gifts inspired by Science"
My fav: The Creativity Necklace, which features "the molecules acetylcholine, dopamine, and seratonin, the neurotransmitters that boost creativity." Clever!!

Also awesome: Jewelry that features chemicals, stimulants, and other such molecular designs representing caffeine, chocolate, estrogen, and lots more!




Sweet Tooth Designs
My fav: The Smiley Collection's "less than three" necklace. Aww! How romantic! The perfect way to show your email/chat online-love that you less-than-three them very much!

Also awesome: Smiley cufflinks, keyrings, silver or gold charms, bangle bracelets, and silver or gold necklaces, in various smiley-faces.

Including: devil smiley >:-) ... angel smiley O:-) ... happy smiley :-) ... kissy smiley :-* ... laughing smiley :-D ... pbfft smiley :-P ... sunglasses smiley 8-) ... and winking smiley ;-) ... and even more smileys, depending on what item you choose.

Uncommon Goods
My fav: Geek Chic Computer Jewelry, sold seperately or as a set.

Also awesome: freakin cute computer key cufflinks for your geek-guy.

It's my freakin birthday!

Okay, so who got me presents?

(Ohhh so now you're gonna bring up the fact that I stiffed you on your birthday. Jeez. It's always gotta be about you.)

Well, I'm 23 today. And ya know, when I turned 22 last year, I was a little bummed because 21 was an awesome year of basically drinking and partying and being free and single, primarily with my friend Echo. But 22 didn't turn out bad at all, so now I'm not at all worried about 23. So that's cool. (And I do realize anyone older than me is saying "shut the hell up, young'n".) So I guess I won't have to stress until I'm at the 29 to 30 birthday mark, which I hear is a little rough patch to get through. So, really, I have like 6 more stress-free birthdays ahead of me. Wooo!

Now, I can eat my cake without too much worry. (Diet starts: January 1st, 2007)

I'm going right now to pick up The Boyfriend from the airport (he went home for the holidays) and he has to spend the whole day with me because, hello, it's my birthday. :)

He got the Season 1 DVD of Battlestar Galactica for Christmas, so we're gonna start watching that today. He was very very evil in letting me watch the mini-series DVD (which caused the series to launch because of the sudden cult following)... and that was over a month ago. In the meantime, BSG is in its 3rd Season on the Sci-Fi channel, and I can't just start up in the middle of Season 3!! I wasn't expecting it to be so good, and I had to wait in agony all this time to see Season 1.

Anyway, so that will be my day! Later, everyone.

The world is in peril.

Because I was not online for chat for 10 minutes...
I got this email from Nadine:

Subject: This is an email message for Jennifer [last name]
Calling all Jenny's! Calling all Jenny's! Calling all Jenny's!
Message Head: Calling all Jenny's!
Body: Where are you Jenny? The world is in peril! Nadine is BORED!!!!! (Screams of horror from all over the globe!)

And my reply:

Calling all Nadine's! Calling all Nadine's! Calling all Nadine's!
Message Head: Calling all Nadine's!
Body: Suck it!
Signed: Jenny

And to satisfy my Nintendo Wiithdrawals here's a cute console-release comic from xkcd.com:

Hey, you got white-out on your face.

Before you ask... No, I didn't get a Wii. I will though. Soon. Mark my words.
(Also, thank you for all your words of sympathy from the previous post. I appreciate it. It was nice to come back to so many kind words.)

Now, ahem:

Okay, really, what is wrong with people!?

I came into work today all dressed up nice-and-purty, because apparently some guy was coming in to look at buying our company. (This is actually good news.)

My coworker comes in with this form that been filled out and written all over, and is noticeably a copy of a copy of a copy... basically, it looks like hell.

She says, "Mr. Scary Boss wants you to use white-out to erase all the writing and marks on this form. Then copy it so it looks brand new."

I say, "It would be faster for me to re-type the whole thing. And it would look better." I hold up a copy to remind her that our piece-of-crap copy machine spits out every single copy completely crooked on the page. "And then we'd have a real nice copy saved on my computer for future use."

She says, "He wants you to use white-out."

I say, "Or I could even scan it, pull it into Photoshop, and erase all the marks. That would be faster and look better. This is what we bought the scanner for. Remember, the scanner?" I blow an inch of dust off the $250 scanner next to me, that Mr. Scary Boss insisted we buy, even though I told him, "We will never use it. Let's get the $40 scanner."

She says, "He wants you to use white-out."

I clench my jaw and say, "Will do."

A half an hour later, I have whited-out all the writing and marks on the form. (It would have taken me 5-10 minutes to retype it. Or 7-10 minutes to rescan and edit it in photoshop.) My bottle of white-out is empty and I feel like I just wasted 30 minutes of my life because my boss is a moron. Almost the entire page is covered in white-out, making it 3 times heavier than a normal piece of paper. I go to the copier and slide it through.

Not only does it copy totally crooked on the page, but the original tries to jam half-way through because it's so thick from the fresh coat of white-out I slathered on it.

My desk-calendar and my fingers are covered in white-out as well. I'm thinking about going to wash the white-out off my hands in the restroom, when Mr. Scary Boss comes in the front door (bosses get to come in whenever they feel like it), and starts me on another project that "has to get done ASAP" (he was supposed to do it himself 5 week ago).

So I figure: Hell, I might as well wear the white-out fingers as a Badge-of-Effing-Honor after what I just did for this moron. If he even tries to comment on my white-stained fingers, I'll just grind it into his face that I spent over 30 minutes painting the Sistine Chapel of White-Out on his ratty old form from 1967.

My unpaid half-hour lunch time comes around (the only break I get all day), and I go out to Subway to pick up a salad for lunch. I go in, talk a bit with the Subway guys, take my salad, and go back to work. Before I go to eat my lunch, I run into the restroom to wash the freakin white-out off my hands that I had forgotten about. I am washing my hands in the sink... I look up at myself in the mirror... yes. Yeah, I hope you're following me here...

I have a large smear of white-out on my cheek and a small smudge on my forehead.

No one told me. Not my coworkers, not my boss, not even the freakin people at Subway! And don't tell me that the white-out blended in with my skin. I'm plenty pale, but I am not that pale, people.

Just one considerate person could have helped me out. ONE PERSON could have just said:

"Hey, you got white-out on your face."

Thanks for nothing, bitches!

Next time I see one of my moron coworkers with a giant "KICK ME" sign on their back, I'm not saying a word. Not a word! Granted, I probably put it there. But... that's not the point. The point is I'm not telling anyone anything to be considerate. Because I freaking had white-out all over my face for almost 4 1/2 hours and people were probably thinking, "Oh god, Jenny's got white shit on her face. I hope that's white-out" and "Aww, I didn't think they let 'special' people play with white-out. That's sweet."

Please, folks, next time you see some clueless girl who obviously does not realize her fly is undone, her hair is going in 14 different directions, she's got an entire piece of pie in her front teeth, OR she's got white-out all over her face... please please please, for the love of god, pull her aside and quietly make her aware of her social retardation.

Searches that lead to my blog.

You don't realize how freaky people on the internet are until you see what they're searching for. With a lot of site counters like StatCounter, Google Analytics, and SiteMeter, you can view the "keywords" that led someone to your website through a search engine.

Since I talk quite a bit about the Nintendo Wii and being a geek girl in general, I wasn't shocked by this one. In fact, multiple searches relating to the Wii release and/or buying a Wii in Omaha come to my site on Google. Like so:


And if you don't know how to spell Carpentry, yet still want a job in the UK in that field, search using AOL in the UK for the words "carpentrey jobs" and my site will appear at this entry where I mock a guy that contacted Echo and was kinda slow. It comes up at the 2nd result:


Here's where it starts to get weird, folks. If you search for "serial killers pretend to love animals" on Google.com, my recent entry on internet dating will be the 3rd result. Nice. I just don't want to know why this person is searching for those words...


And finally, thanks to Nadine... if for some strange reason you search for "peeing that long" on Google, my site will be the 1st result with this entry of an absolutely insane conversation with Nadine. Yes, I am #1 in "peeing that long"... that is a title that I hold very near and dear to my heart. Check it out:


It is a really strange world out there. I sincerely hope all you new visitors get your spell checkers working, further investigate your new serial killer neighbor who pretends to like your dog but is really plotting against you, and for sure get that peeing issue looked at by a trained professional. Ya'll got issues.

Toys R Us Wii pre-orders start yesterday.

Uhm. I've been spacing out my blog. I apologize, dear readers.

As usual, I am always a step or two behind the news. Check out the "latest" Wii news from Nintendorks:

Wee amount of Wii expected to be left at end of year

Nintendo's Yoshihiro Mori revealed that Nintendo plans to ship six million Wii units by March 31st of next year, but the company does not expect this to satiate the hunger of consumers drooling for the highly anticipated console. This is according to Chris Leyton of Total Video Games, who also says Nintendo advises fans to pre-order Wiis if they want to guarantee getting one.

For those who have yet to reserve a Wii, Toys R Us will begin taking pre-orders on October 29th. Gamers will have to pony up a cool fifty bucks if they want to get that little piece of paper that will be their ticket to gaming bliss come November 17th. Parents who don't want to be seen as failures in the eyes of their children this holiday season should make sure they find a way to secure a Wii, or else it will be just like they shot Santa in the back of the head, tidings of comfort and joy splattered on the mantle.

Posted by Chris at October 27, 2006 12:55 AM

Hmm. So uhm... I guess I should pre-order today or tomorrow. I'm okay with pre-ordering from Toys R Us, but definitely not Gamestop.
This bit of news only serves to make me more nervous about not getting a Wii at all if I don't pre-order one.

In other news: Echo and I went out to Eli's on Saturday night to celebrate Halloween. The bar was too packed though, overwhelmingly so, and yet hardly anyone was dancing! Most all the girls were dressed as slutty fairies or slutty angels, but I saw a couple of really cute (although still quite slutty) costumes too. Echo went as Cher and even made her own microphone, which was really cute.

Of course, there were the usual guys that use Halloween as an excuse to be horny, nasty bastards. Like, a guy dressed as a flasher... which was NOT COOL seeing him flopping around on the dance floor. And, get this, there was a guy dressed as a giant vagina. Seriously, buddy... WHY? (Here's a photo of what his "Big Pink" costume looked like... but this is NOT safe for work, people. You've been warned.)

I mean, dude, that guy must have lost a bet. Or he's just one of those guys... you know, those guys that are just the hopelessly single "life of the party" guys, that can't ever get a girlfriend because they just cannot stop making fart jokes and randomly humping people and things. Ugh. You know... the guys I usually go out with once, and then run screaming away from.

My costume was sufficiently geeky... I decided to be a 'music/software pirate'. Which means I bought a pirate costume and then made a pendant necklace with the no-symbol around the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America, the company that prosecutes 12 year old girls for downloading Britney Spears' "Hit me Baby One More Time", old rockers like my dad that download songs that have been playing on the effing radio since before 1976, and shuts down the software programs/organizations that aid you in sharing music and files with your peers) and I also sewed a couple CD's onto my skirt.

I was talking to my friend Holly yesterday about Halloween/my software pirate costume, and she said a friend of hers wanted to do the same thing a couple years ago but never got the costume finished. He had 'bootleg boots' too. Freakin awesome!

I was considering posting photos of me in my uber-geek costume, but I dunno... I'll think about it. I'm always afraid they will end up photoshopped on FARK or something.

On an unrelated note: OH MY GAWD, some people need to learn when to stop talking. When you see that I am clearly very busy "working" and not even looking at you the ENTIRE time you are yapping away, then maybe - JUST MAYBE - you should just shut up shut up shut up!!!

(Uh oh! Somebody's got a case of the Mondays...)

A new way to check comments.

Added a "latest comments" feed in the sidebar. It is right under Labels and right above Archive. You all know how I hate putting forth effort on my blog, so this was super easy to do... let me know if you want to know how and I will share my vast (and lazy) knowledge with you.

It will be a fun addition, I think. At least now it will be easier to record and advertise that people like me. :D I tried really hard to do the label-cloud thing but there are like more than 2 steps so I said screw it.

Before you say it, I know I have too much crap in the sidebar...

Also, how the hell do I left-justify certain widgets? I'm annoyed that the comments are right-justified. I looked at the html but it made my brain cells die.

I have to pretty this thing up.

Man, so Google scoops up YouTube (finally) and the two YouTube guys, Chad and Steve, get (even more) filthy stinking rich and they get to keep their jobs! Wow... Chad and Steve just got a $1.65 billion bonus and less stress.

I'm getting tired of my blog template again. But I also don't like any of the options Blogger provides. I want something cool and orginal but uh... yeah, that also doesn't require any effort on my part. I know I could design something myself (since I'm a graphic designer) but again... that 'effort' thing.

Plus, I tried to hack my Labels to make them a "cloud" or drop-down, and I didn't understand the expanded widgets or any of that crap. I use Dreamweaver, ok? I have no idea what I'm doing otherwise.

I googled blogspotters that have cool templates:

• Alamanda
• Diary of Golda
• Didats.net
• Ity
• Isnaini
• Exhibit 5a
• Signs of the Week

Sites with really really cute FREE templates that I want want want:

• Zoot's Designs
• PannaSmontata Templates
• Zeventina's Design

However, I'm not sure that any of these will work with Blogger Beta, since nothing else seems to. So... I'm gonna research a little more and decide if I even want to bother.

I really need to know where I can pre-order my Wii in Omaha. I don't want to miss out in case there is a psychotic rush when they are launched. Like, I'm talking Tickle Me Elmo kind of psychos.

I wonder if I can have it delivered to my house by a sexy geek guy...? I bet that costs a lot extra. Oooh, glasses = hot!!! OMG LOL WTF! (that's R. Stevens of Diesel Sweeties, by the way. I doubt I can afford him. :'( I'm using him for my hot-geek-example, since GIS wasn't giving me anything except half-naked pornstar girls in black frames. I said "hot geek guy", not "hot slutty girl masquerading as a geek", damnit.)

I know GameStop/GameSpot/GamePots/GameTops/GameOpts/Wtf-ever is going to be doing pre-orders soon (if not already), but I was hoping for Toys R Us or Gamers instead. But maybe that's not likely? I have no idea Because if this article from Gizmodo is true, there is no way I'm going to GameStop:

This is low. Our half-man, half-Atari, 100% crazy uncles over at Kotaku got a photo tip on GameStop requiring $50 worth of trade-ins to reserve a PS3 or Wii. While not confirmed, if such is the case the console wars have reached a new low. $50 of trade-ins equals about $200 in games, according to my guesstimates. And if GameStop can't supply necessary demands at launch, it's not up to the consumer to bribe them with what is almost the entire price of the Wii for a preorder. – Mark Wilson

Do you realize how much profit Gamestop will make off of $50 worth of your used games?! Here's the poster that this article is referring to (image borrowed from Ps3Land.com):


Uhhhhhm. If I wasn't already boycotting GameStop, then I would be now.
Dude, gotta get to Gamers!

Old chat from June 21st:

nadine: i knew it was you who picked the photo cause it said "jen thinks this would be a good pic for everyone to see"

3:15 PM jen: oh that's weird. i didn't think you could see what avatar photo i picked for you.

nadine : i have it

jen: dude, good thing i decided not to pick the handicap-symbol for you.

3:16 PM nadine: ooh

nadine: thats great

jen: LOL, god i'm a laugh riot.

Venting and more Wii whiiniing.

I need to vent! And there's no one around but my blog. :(

Why is it that girls (namely, me) like guys that aren't even into them? And then feel nothing for guys that actually like them. Oh, maybe there is something wild and exciting about a guy who doesn't give a crap about you and kinda treats you like you're not even there. Oooh yeah, makes me hot just thinking about it. Right...

It's just frustrating. I'm a typical chick, I think about these things. If I care enough to think about them. And often it makes me want to pull an Echo and say screw it, I give up! I'm getting closer to thinking that's a good idea, at least for a while. And that's not me... I'm usually (suprisingly) positive when it comes to dating. It's just that lately it's been extremely disheartening.

And I'm a good catch, damnit. I'm likely not very cute or in shape or anything physically spectacular, but I see wholly unattractive girls with no personality with guys all the time. Granted those are not the kind of guys I want, but still. It's proof that there are non-shallow guys out there, somewhere...? And I've had boyfriends say (aka: lie) that I'm beautiful, so some guys think I'm alright, damnit.

I'm quirky in all the right ways. Enough to make me interesting and entertaining and loveable, but not anything that would be considered "baggage". I'm patient, understanding, and would put up with quite a lot. Yet I still stand my ground, I'm my own person, and I maintain my own opinions and beliefs independently (basically, not a doormat or a pushover that cannot be respected). And I do communicate extremely well (if I'm getting the same in return). So where the hell is my match? And why why why do I keep meeting guys that don't even like me?

Okay! I reached my quota of self-pity for the year. Back to the dating pool, I suppose.

I have yet to hear what colors the Nintendo Wii will be released in. First I hear they announced the official colors (as pictured) and I see those photos all over the web. And now I'm hearing vague stories that only the white Wii will be out at launch. I'm sorry guys, but I'm afraid it's slightly a big deal for me to get the color I want. I decided I'm not gonna go as far as to wait it out for a "good color", but however you will hear me bitch quite a bit if I end up with a plain old white Wii.

If/when I get a white Wii, I'll be shopping for skins ASAP! I skinned my platinum Gamecube and it's just darling. (photo is of a black Gamecube with same skin) See how cute?!

It's like shoes, okay? You want them to be both cute and functional, otherwise why pay $249.99 for them? (Damn, those are some expensive shoes.) Except these shoes are freakin' awesome and you can play video games on them (in a way that no other console can).

We're getting step-by-step closer to full-on interactive gaming, a form of virtual-reality so to speak, but in the privacy of your own home. Gaming geeks everywhere are getting all tingly and probably squealing in anticipation (I won't tell, but you know it's true). What seemed to be merely science fiction 50 years ago is gradually becoming a reality that you can have in your own living room.

Okay. That's enough of my atrocious similies today.