Monday, August 21, 2006

Some things better left unsaid.

So, my friend Echo and I were bored, single, and especially annoyed with guys last Friday night and we set up a rather blunt profile on a dating website, expecting to get some pretty harsh hate mail in reply. None so far, unfortunately, because if there were hate mail I already have her permission to post it here for your amusement (all names changed of course). Okay, let's be honest here, it's really just for my amusement and my friends as well. Anyway, Echo's bold move to post this rather humorously honest profile (which was literally just a list of personal requirements... ie: job, car, place to live other than parents' basement, great sense of humor and most importantly a 'nice ass'), thus prompted to me to reconsider my own mental list of wants/needs from a guy. I think I need to add more! Hah.

Echo is damn funny but it's so true. Not one thing we put in her profile was out of line.

But I ran across this lady's requirements and realized that comparatively the profile we wrote for Echo was just plain mild. Check out the 'facts' that she states in bullet points about herself, and then scroll down to where she says:

I realize that some of you will find this post depressing because you'll realize that you don't qualify as a high quality man and thus won't be able to get a high quality woman. You have a few options:

  1. Lower your standards and stop pursuing women who are out of your league. There are lots of fat single mothers out there who can'’t find dates either.
  2. Look in the developing world. If you'’re literate with a home computer and an internet connection you are very wealthy compared to the rest of the world. Citizenship or legal permanent residency in a rich country makes you more attractive to women in poorer countries. Your value on the dating market is thus much higher there.
  3. Self-improvement! I used to be a fat unattractive college dropout who couldn'’t get her life together. Now I'’m thin, attractive, and successfully self-employed after graduating. You can make yourself over into a higher-quality man capable of winning a higher-quality woman too.

Wow! I'm fairly sure this lady is just being modest... She really shouldn't hold back so much. She's actually a 3-time Miss Universe pageant winner and self-made multi-billionaire. I wish her luck finding her dream guy... I only hope he's as honest as she is.

1 comment:

Echo Jones said...

OK! Jen, we are not self made anything. I am just flippin happy I can pay the damn water bill every month. Even if I was, I could never be that bitchy. My dating profile was meant to be funny! I just wanted to collect some hate mail so I could laugh at it. I mean, I have pretty much given up and have been litterally trying to decide what type of cat I should get first.

Well so far, I have not got one piece of hate mail. Actually, I have gotten only good responses on how much they appreciated my straight-to-the-point profile. Maybe we should just reconsider the whole idea of what a guy wants. Maybe guys want a girl who knows that she wants someone with a great sense of humor and a nice ass, instead of a fun loving, free spirit nympho. If you think about it, I look for someone like me. I have my priorities straight, I am not horrible on the eyes and I have a flippin job that pays the damn water bill.

So lets face it. Maybe I was not as bitchy as whats her face, but I was honest and said it straight out, I don't want a flippin looser that lives in their parent's basement. Looser's need not apply!