Thursday, August 24, 2006

It's not that awful.

I apologize in advance for being such a nerd.

I regularly read SomethingAwful. That's where I heard about Miss High Quality. You can even read the same bashing they did on her that I read initially. It even continues to another page if you want to read on. (Note: SomethingAwful is not usually safe for work)

They have a variety of funny and awful stuff on there. I especially like the chat logs between Josh "Livestock" Boruff and his friend Tom "Moof" Davies. Seriously, this newest chat is one of the funniest things ever. (Original link here.) Just attempt to see my nerdy point of view folks. It may be funniest to me partially because this is often how chats between Nadine and I go:

Livestock: it is strange we call them chat logs you know
Livestock: is there a forest of chats somewhere
Livestock: and a lumberjack that chops down the chats
Livestock: and do the chat logs float down a river
Livestock: or ride on the back of a truck
Livestock: until they find their way
Livestock: into our heads
Livestock: to be typed out
Livestock: is it possible what i just said is a metaphor for the great force that brings us words
Livestock: is conversing a forest
Livestock: OH GOD ARE WE DEFORESTING OUR CONVERSATIONS
Livestock: MOOF
Moof: AARRGGHH
Livestock: do you have thoughts
Moof: i think that if conversing is a forest
Moof: then your mind is like the sahara desert
Moof: full of sand livestock
Moof: sand
Livestock: they don't call these sandlogs you idiot!!
Moof: they dont call them forestlogs either jerk
Livestock: DID YOU NOT GET THE PART ABOUT THIS BEING A METAPHOR
Livestock: MORON
Moof: DID YOU NOT GET THE MEMO ABOUT BEING A JERK BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DID
Livestock: IF I COULD CRUSH YOUR HEAD IN THE DOOR OF A MICROWAVE OVEN I WOULD DO SO, BUT I THINK YOUR HEAD IS TOO BIG FOR CONVENTIONAL MICROWAVE OVENS
Moof: IF I COULD FREEZE YOU IN MY FREEZER I WOULD BUT THEN THERE WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH SPACE FOR FROZEN FOODS SUCH AS MEAT AND SALAD
Livestock: WHO FREEZES SALAD
Livestock: DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND LETTUCE
Moof: SOMETIMES YOU CAN FREEZE LETTUCE TO MAKE IT KEEP LONGER
Livestock: NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS WOULD I HAVE IMAGINED SUCH A STUPID THING TO COME FROM THE MOUTH OF A HUMAN BEING
Moof: MAYBE YOU SHOULD OPEN YOU HEART TO LET SOME DREAMS IN
Livestock: this is the last time i share any profound insights with you
Moof: I SWEAR TO GOD LIVESTOCK YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE
Moof: do you want a sandwich
Livestock: yes
Moof: okay :)

1 comment:

nadine said...

Deforesting our conversations HA HA HA
Sandlogs AH HA HA HA
Forestlogs HA HA HA
Freeze salad AAAAHHHH HA HA AAAAAHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Freakin awesome
Hey I want a sandwich too!
Nobody asks me if I want a sandwich!