Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Ass hat in the news

If you're not a member of what the blog!? yet, you should be. Because then you can participate in the ass hat awards, which features a sweet little contest every 2 weeks. There are lots of buttons and awards and junk that you can earn if you post cool crap about ass hats. Oh yeah, and did I mention that what the blog!? and the ass hat awards are run entirely by the lovely and talent Tiffany, Michelle, and yours truly?

Yeah, we're awesome. You don't have to say it, just sign your ass up.

Anyway, even though I cant qualify to win an ass hat award, I still love to participate because, guess why? It's tons of fun, people. Try and keep up, okay? If you tried it, you would know this.

This past 2-weeks the theme has been Ass Hats in the News, so here's my post:

This is a bit of a disturbing ass hat, but an ass hat nonetheless. Here's the story if you want to read it, though all you really need to know are the parts I highlighted for you in red:

ERIE, Pennsylvania (AP) -- A woman pleaded guilty Tuesday to swinging her 4-week-old son like a bat to hit her boyfriend during a fight, fracturing the infant's skull in the process.

Chytoria Graham, 27, pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and endangering the welfare of a child under a plea agreement with prosecutors.

By pleading guilty, Graham acknowledged that on October 8 she grabbed her son Jarron by his feet and swung him, hitting her boyfriend and seriously injuring the child.

At Graham's preliminary hearing in December, paramedic Betty Schau, who treated the baby, recalled that Graham was crying and disheveled when medical crews arrived. She testified that Graham told her, "I swung him. I swung him like a bat."

The judge ordered a psychological examination for Graham before her sentencing, set for May 8. The charges carry a minimum of five years in prison because the child was under age 12. Two lesser charges were dropped.

Graham's previous attorney had said Graham did not use her child as a weapon, that the boy was hurt during a fight between the two adults and that Graham lied to authorities about how the injury occurred to protect her boyfriend.

Her current attorney, public defender Julia Dudics, however, said Tuesday that the choice to plead guilty was Graham's. Dudics declined further comment except to say that Graham had told her she was depressed.

Jarron, who made a full recovery, and Graham's four other children are currently in the custody of her parents.

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Here's the link too, if you wanna go read it at cnn.com. But really, if you can just read it here, why go anywhere else?

So, uhm. Do I really need to say anything else about this? I mean, holy hell. WTF is wrong with people?

I see no mention of this mother being on drugs, but I really think that would make more sense... I mean, if you're totally drugged out of your skull I could maybe possibly see this happening.

Like, I could understand a bit if you're a complete crackhead and you hallucinate that your baby is really a baseball bat and start swinging away at the purple spidermonkeys flying towards your head. I could understand that excuse.

But, apparently this lady was sober!? Really? WTF? And her primary excuse is that she was depressed. Why is it that we always hear about mothers getting depressed and then either drowning their children, driving them off bridges, or using them as sports equipment?

Man, this must be an epidemic! I know whenever I'm feeling depressed, I also feel the urge to end innocent lives. Thank goodness I'm not alone anymore in Crazy Town!


Maybe birth control should be issued free-of-charge to anyone with an IQ below that of current U.S. President's. (I realize that at the moment that is not a lot of people. But hopefully this will encourage us to vote in smarter Presidents next time.) Two birds with one stone, people. That's how you do it.

Anyway, I'm glad the kid is okay. (And frankly I wouldn't be posting this story if he wasn't okay, because I'm NOT trying to make everyone cry.) I do want to say is that this lady is a freakin ass hat and she doesn't deserve to have children if she can't even operate them properly.

Obviously, this kid was not made for sports. I mean, seriously. Lady, if you really wanna go psycho on your man you have to buy yourself a real baseball bat.

It would do a lot more damage to him than your kid's squishy little head.