Monday, November 27, 2006

I wish I may.

Dude, seriously, my wishlist at Froogle works approximately 12% of the time. So, I joined the rest of the world finally and signed up at Amazon for my wishlist instead.

And found a few things (not) worth mentioning:

Ice Cream in a Ball
Have you ever wanted ice cream really really badly, but you didn't want to stop playing catch?

"With the unique Play & Freeze Ice Cream Maker, you can make ice cream anywhere! You dont need electricity, just add ice and rock salt in one end and ice cream mix in the other end, then have a ball as you shake it, pass it or roll it!"
Oh my god. Does anyone else think this looks like a hamster ball? I cannot believe this thing comes in multiple colors. What freak actually finds this 'ice cream ball' and says to themselves, "You know, I really wish I had 6 playful colors to choose from, because the blue ice cream ball is just not worth $39.95, but I think an orange one would be." This is almost the stupidest product on all of Amazon.

When Tennis and Cheese Collide

I love tennis. I love creamy cheese spread. Why in the hell can't we merge these two?


Product Features
  • Cheese Spreader
  • Tennis Design
Lovely description. What bothers me most is that there are 4 of them. Like you need a whole set of Tennis Cheese Spreaders to make your life complete.

Spam gets 4 new names

Naturally, this offends me on many levels. But I'll try and put my bias aside...
Alligator, Rattlesnake and more! Exotic and unforgettable food gift! Wild game just got wilder. Here's 4 cans of meat for your wildest, wooliest meat connoisseur to enjoy. He can try Smoked Rattlesnake, Cajun-style Alligator, Buffalo Au Jus and Elk Au Jus. It's a taste of the wild side, all ready to heat and serve!
Okay, the description made me laugh my ass off. "Wild game just got wilder" IN A CAN?! Not only are you not a 'wild, wooly, manly-man' because you are buying meat in a can (which you will heat up in the microwave), but also: holy god, don't you kill enough animals on a regular basis?! Do you really need to pretend that you've had alligator and elk? Don't kid yourself... there are 4 differently seasoned Spam chunks in those cans. Bon Appetite!

Advertising the obvious

Whoa. This is not very nice on so many levels...

"This is a great sweatshirt. Great gift."
Uh, great gift? I don't think the "Kiss Me, I'm Ugly" sentiment will go over too well with Grammy this holiday season. Or anyone. Maybe get it for yourself, if you have very little self-esteem. But don't expect many kisses.

The Depressing Coffee Mug

Nothing beats a hot cup of coffee and a mug that will
make you cry first in the morning!
This one makes a great gift too! They ought to have it boxed in a set with the 'Kiss me, I'm ugly' hoodie. Can you throw in an eating disorder with that?

Remember folks, there are less than 30 shopping days left until X-mas 2006!


Mikala said...

Yes, those are some interesting gifts...pretty funny.

I don't even have a wishlist! :0)

Reba said...

I use Amazon for my sons wish list. His dad lives in England so it works great. I just send him the list, he buys stuff, and it is sent to us.

Skittles said...

Your comments on these products are hilarious!