Oh, did I forget to mention that I've never ever gone on any rides scarier than the Tilt-A-Whirl? It's like the teacups except slightly faster. Yeah, I forgot to tell Echo too...
So, we get to Worlds of Fun and we start out with the "best" roller coaster, the Patriot. Let me remind you again that this is my first roller coaster that wasn't intended for children under 4. I sit on the end of this death-trap and don't really consider that perhaps I will lose my glasses to this speeding, spinning, looping, upside-down horror ride. I didn't lose them, but I was so worried about it the entire time and was constantly mashing them into my face as I also tried to hold on for dear life, so I didn't get a chance to enjoy the ride. Meanwhile every time I opened my eyes I felt sick. I'm slightly afraid of heights... and by slightly I mean OH MY GOD.
Right after the Patriot:
Jen: "Echo, I'm still shaking. I might die."
Echo: "Oh god Jen!"
Jen: "I almost lost my glasses 30 times. I'd be blind, dude! I was panicking... you know, you'd have to drive us home and also lead me around on a kiddie-leash all day."
Echo (thinking): Great. This is going to be a looooong day.
So, we go on the Mamba next, even though I am still feeling like death warmed over. Mamba was also a terror, but in a different way. I had no idea that I would ever feel so scared out of my mind. Last but not least, we went on the Boomerang, and finally I started to enjoy myself. We went through them all again and I actually enjoyed them! What a rush! I wish we could have stayed longer and gone on them 20 more times.
No, I didn't go on the Ripcord. Because I value my life.
Perhaps more exciting than the rides were the people Echo and I saw while we were bored waiting in long lines for the rides...
Note: People and things that may be offended by the following entry may include, but is not limited to... people with kids, people with mullets, men that wear sleeveless shirts, curtains, men, women, children, and small animals.
While we were getting in line at the Boomerang, we saw this little boy get in line a few people in front of us to ride the Boomerang all by himself. Apparently his mother wanted to sit this one out and chain-smoke instead. About 30 seconds of standing in line, still near the back by the way, the little boy runs full-speed past Echo and I towards the exit, yelling:
"I changed my mind!!!!!!"
It was just about the funniest and cutest thing ever. (Check him out, isn't he a cute kid?) Well, he did come back eventually and we even got to watch him ride the Boomerang by himself later on that day. Although he couldn't even see up over the seat in front of him, he was all smiles.
While waiting in line at the Mamba the first time... I nudge Echo and say:
You really have to click on these to see the full image. This is perhaps the tackiest hat I have ever seen in my entire life. And believe me, I have seen some tacky hats. I just had to try and google this hat when I got home and find out how much this guy paid for this monstrocity. And guess what? I can't even find this hat anywhere! It makes me wonder if he really didn't custom-make it from his mom's dining room tablecloth, or maybe his grandma made it for him for Christmas out of a mattress ;).
While in line again for the Mamba, we saw this girl that may or may not have been kidnapped...
So then we are waiting about about an hour to go on the Detonator, which was really not worth it because it was 5 seconds of LAME. But seeing this little boy made it worth it.
Echo: "Oh my god, it's Joe Dirt!"
Click to enlarge and see the resemblance. It is uncanny. (If you haven't seen Joe Dirt, you have no idea what you're missing.) And although we have no photographic proof, I swear to you Little Joe was wearing Converse high tops with flames on them.
And to our (hysterically-laughing) amusement, about an hour later while waiting for the Patriot, we saw what could only be Little Joe Dirt's pa...
Echo: "Jen, look! It's Joe Dirt's dad!"
Jen: "Whoa, it is!"
Echo: "Dude. I bet they really are related."
Jen: "Maybe they need to be reunited via the magic of blogging."
Daddy Dirt is even wearing the 3 Redneck Essentials:
- Sleeveless Budweiser shirt
- Totally killer mullet
- Flame arm-band tattoo
Check out the Joe Dirt & Son's Proof-of-Relation Chart. I don't even think we need a DNA test.
Hopefully this blog will be like Oprah or Jerry Springer and bring an estranged family back together.
Awww. Okay, let's be honest, it'll be more like Springer...
When it all came down to it, here was our very favorite things about Worlds of Fun:
For even more Worlds of Fun photographs (taken mostly by Echo) and sarcastic comments (mostly from me) click to go to my unlisted Worlds of Fun Picasa photo album.